Top 8 Onscreen Angels

Warriors of God, beings of darkness, guardians, or agents of vengeance, angels come in all shapes and sizes. Represented well, angels make great characters. Here are my 8 favourite. Spoilers ahead.

NUMBER 8

The Crow, The Crow

8 The Crow

“People once believed that when someone dies, a crow carries their soul to the land of the dead. But sometimes, something so bad happens that a terrible sadness is carried with it and the soul can’t rest. Then sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring that soul back to put the wrong things right.”

Played by: A raven, actually.
Scary or sexy: Neither, he’s a standard black crow.
His Goal: To bring Eric Draven back to life to avenge the brutal deaths of his fiancée and himself.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 7

Michael, Legion

7 Michael

“This is not your test, Michael. How dare you presume to know His heart?”
“*Putting a hand to his chest* Because He made this one. And it tells me He shouldn’t lose faith now.”

Played by: Paul Bettany
Scary or sexy: Sexy
His Goal: To save a chosen woman and her unborn baby from God’s temper tantrum.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 6

Horse, Winter’s Tale

6 Horse

“Don’t know who’s more foolish; The horse who won’t listen to his master or the master who listens to his horse.”

Played by: A horse, duh. (Couldn’t find the horse’s real name)
Scary or sexy: Neither, but he’s a gorgeous animal.
His Goal: To guard gold-hearted thief Peter Lake.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 5

Tyrael, Diablo III

5 Tyrael

“You cannot judge me, I am Justice itself! We were meant for more than this! To protect the innocent! But if our precious laws bind you all to inaction … then I will no longer stand as your brother.”

Played by: Jonathan Adams
Scary or sexy: Is strong and beautiful as an angel, and rugged and slightly worn out looking as a mortal.
His Goal: To bind Diablo and the other powerful demons to the black soulstone, then destroy them.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 4

Bartleby & Loki, Dogma

4 Bartleby & Loki

“You know, here’s what I don’t get about you. You know for a fact that there is a God. You’ve been in His presence. He’s spoken to you personally. Yet I just heard you claim to be an atheist.”
“I just like to fuck with the clergy, man.”

Played by: Ben Affleck and Matt Damon
Scary or sexy: One of them is sexy, the other is Ben Affleck :-p
His Goal: To get back into Heaven, no matter the cost (which, in this case, is negating all existence).
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Loki is killed by Bartleby stabbing him after cutting his wings off (making him human), and Bartleby, after having his own wings shot off, is killed by God’s voice.

NUMBER 3

Gabriel, The Prophecy

3 Gabriel

“I’m an angel. I kill firstborns while their mamas watch. I turn cities into salt. I even, when I feel like it, rip the souls from little girls, and from now till kingdom come, the only thing you can count on in your existence is never understanding why.”

Played by: Christopher Walken
Scary or sexy: Scary
His Goal: To unleash a second Hell on Earth.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Lucifer rips out his heart and eats it.

NUMBER 2

Gabriel, Constantine

2 Gabriel

“If sweet, sweet God loves you so, then I will make you worthy of His love. I’ve been watching for a long time. It’s only in the face of horror that you truly find your nobler selves. And you can be so noble. So, I’ll bring you pain, I’ll bring you horror, so that you may rise above it. So that those of you who survive this reign of hell on earth will be worthy of God’s love.”

Played by: Tilda Swinton
Scary or sexy: Sexy
His Goal: To bring forth the son of Lucifer and make Hell on Earth.
Alive at the end?: Yes, but is now human.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 1

Castiel, Supernatural

1 Castiel

“She rises when Lucifer walks the earth. “And she shall come, bearing false prophecy.” This creature has the power to take a human’s form, read minds. Book of Revelation calls her “the Whore of Babylon”.”
“Well, that’s catchy.”

Played by: Misha Collins
Scary or sexy: Very, very sexy!
His Goal: To help Dean and Sam Winchester in any way he can. It’s way more complicated then that, but I don’t have 3 hours to explain it :-p
Alive at the end?: Yes, then no, then yes, then no, then yes….
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: He’s been killed by multiple angels, and the Leviathan, but always comes back somehow.

M.

My Top 11 Onscreen Incarnations of the Devil

Movies featuring the devil are numerous, but there’s really only a small amount of them that are good. With such a high schlock content, a lot of films about or starring the devil are awful, either being boring or stupid, or even both. But when done right, the devil can be downright terrifying, or as is the case in a few of my entries, really funny.

I’ll only be including films in which the devil is a physical manifestation, so no possession films (there’s one exception, because there’s possession and a physical being). I’ll likely do another post dedicated to that sub-genre, since there are so many. So without any further ado, let’s get this show on the road. Oh, and spoiler alert, as usual.

NUMBER 11

The Devil, Bedazzled

11 The Devil - Bedazzled

“Fair? Who do you think you’re talking to? I don’t recall anybody ever accusing me of being fair before. I think I’m insulted.”

Played by: Elizabeth Hurley
Scary or sexy: Sexy
His Goal: Getting Elliot’s soul after granting him his 7 wishes.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 10

Old Woman, Devil

10 The Devil - Devil

“You think you can make some kind of bargain?”
“Take me instead.”
“STOP SAYING THAT!!”

Played by: Jenny O’Hara
Scary or sexy: Scary
His Goal: To collect the souls of four evil-doers trapped in an elevator.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 9

Hades, Hercules

9 Hades - Hercules

“We dance, we kiss, we schmooze, we carry on, we go home happy. What do you say? Come on.”

Played by: James Woods
Scary or sexy: Scary
His Goal: To kill Hercules so he can’t mess up his plan of unleashing the Titans on Olympus.
Alive at the end?: Yes, but is trapped in the River Styx.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 8

Randall Flagg, The Stand

8 Randall Flagg - The Stand

“Pleased to meet you, Lloyd. Hope you guessed my name.”
“Hunh?”
“Oh. Nothing. Just a little classical reference.”

Played by: Jamey Sheridan
Scary or sexy: Both
His Goal: To kill all the remaining good people left in the world after an apocalyptic flu kills almost everyone.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Blown up by a nuclear bomb brought in by Trashcan Man, and set off by the ghostly hand of Mother Abigail.

NUMBER 7

Satan, End of Days

7 Lucifer - End of Days

“You think I came here to hurt you? I didn’t come here to hurt you. I came here to love you. Give yourself to me.”

Played by: Gabriel Byrne
Scary or sexy: Sexy
His Goal: To impregnate a chosen young woman with the Anti-Christ.
Alive at the end?: Yes, but is trapped in Hell for the next thousand years.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 6

John Milton, The Devil’s Advocate

6 Milton - The Devil's Advocate

“Free will. It’s like butterfly wings: once touched, they never get off the ground. No, I only set the stage. You pull your own strings.”

Played by: Al Pacino
Scary or sexy: Scary (sorry Pacino fans, this dude’s one scary mo-fo)
His Goal: To have his son, Kevin, impregnate his daughter, Christabella, with the Anti-Christ.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 5

The Beast, Doctor Who

5 The Beast - Doctor Who

“This is the darkness. This is my domain. You little things that live in the light, clinging to your feeble suns, which die in the end… only the darkness remains.”

Played by: Will Thorp, Gabriel Woolf
Scary or sexy: Scary
His Goal: To get free of the planet prison that has been holding him for millennia.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: The Doctor smashes the bonds holding the planet prison in orbit around a black hole so he’ll be sucked into it, at the same time Rose throws the possessed Toby out into space and towards the black hole.

NUMBER 4

Lucifer, Constantine

4 Lucifer - Constantine

“No. You will live, John Constantine. You will live so you will have the chance to prove that your soul truly belongs in hell. Oh, you will live. You will live.”

Played by: Peter Stormare
Scary or sexy: Scary
His Goal: To collect John Constantine’s soul.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 3

Lucifer, The Prophecy

3 Lucifer - The Prophecy

“Little Tommy Daggett. How I loved listening to your sweet prayers every night. And then you’d jump in your bed, so afraid I was under there. And I was!”

Played by: Viggo Mortensen
Scary or sexy: A little of both, I’d say. Viggo’s an attractive man, but he’s so freaking creepy in this role!
His Goal: To stop the archangel Gabriel from stealing the Dark Soul and unleashing a second Hell. He also wants to collect Thomas and Katherine’s souls for his trouble.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 2

Lucifer, Supernatural

2 Lucifer - Supernatural

“I’m sorry. It must be painful. Speaking to me in this… shape. But it had to be your brother. It had to be.”

Played by: Mark Pellegrino, Jared Padalecki
Scary or sexy: Both
His Goal: To use Sam as his vessel and bring about the apocalypse.
Alive at the end?: Yes and no
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: After allowing him into his body, Sam is able to retake control long enough to throw himself (with Lucifer still inside him) back into his Hell-prison.

NUMBER 1

Darkness, Legend

1 Darkness - Legend

“You think you have won! What is light without dark? What are you without me? I am a part of you all. You can never defeat me. We are brothers eternal!”

Played by: Tim Curry
Scary or sexy: Scary
His Goal: To kill the last remaining unicorn to envelop the world in eternal night. He also desires Lily.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Jack impales him with the unicorn horn, and he’s sucked into the void.

And that’s my list! Which onscreen incarnations of the devil are your favourites? Let me know in the comments, and stay tuned for more! 🙂

M.