Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Possession

The Possession
(2012) Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Kyra Sedgwick, Madison Davenport, Natasha Calis, Grant Show, Jay Brazeau and Ned Bellamy

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Despite it being the kind of story that’s told over and over (and over), this one was really really good. The acting was top notch, the dialogue wasn’t corny or cheezy at all. I have to admit, though, a few times during the film I just thought to myself “Come on, Winchester, just salt and burn that bitch”, hehehe. I guess that’s the downside of playing such a well known character. In a fun little twist, we got treated to a Jewish exorcism instead of the traditional Catholic one, which is to say it was almost the same, just a little funnier (sorry, but it’s true :-p ) All in all, good story, good acting, good visuals, good film. I give it a solid 8.5/10.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy!

 

M.

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Mel’s 5 Second Review: Half Light

Half Light
(2005) Demi Moore, Hans Matheson, James Cosmo, Henry Ian Cusick, Kate Isitt and Therese Bradley

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Demi Moore suffers from Keanu-Reeves-syndrome in this film. Meaning, of course, that she wears pretty much the same expression throughout the whole film, whether she’s falling in love, or finding her son’s dead body. The plot is interesting, if a little too convoluted for it’s own good. What’s real? What’s imagined? Are there actual ghosts? Is she insane? Is everyone plotting against her? There’s an answer for everything, but my goodness does it tire you out. In the end, I think there was just too much going on for me to enjoy it completely. It gets an all right 6/10.

This film is currently streaming on Netflix.

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Woman in Black

The Woman in Black
(2012) Daniel Radcliffe, Ciarán Hinds, Janet McTeer, Shaun Dooley, Sophie Stuckey, Mary Stockley and Liz White

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I absolutely loved this film. I thought it was incredibly well done, well acted and very atmospheric. It’s hard to keep a film that has so little dialogue interesting, but I wasn’t bored for a second. I was very pleased to see young Daniel up his game. It’s a demanding sort of role, a lot has to be said with the face and body. They had a few Boo!scares, but not so many that it got annoying (it would be awesome if films stopped using them altogether, but that’s me dreaming in technicolour again). Just as good the second (and third, and forth) time around, I gave it a 10/10.

The film is currently streaming on Netflix. If you haven’t seen, I highly reccomend it. Go, now!! :-p

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Les Rivières Pourpres (The Crimson Rivers)

Les Rivières Pourpres
(2000) Jean Reno, Vincent Cassel, Nadia Farès, Dominique Sanda, Karim Belkhadra, Didier Flamand and Jean-Pierre Cassel

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Pretty good French thriller about two detectives who end up working on the same case involving gruesome serial murders, despite both of them starting from very different places. This is the most Americanized French film I’ve ever seen (not that it’s necessarily a bad thing, French films are generally a little too weird for me, so injecting a little mainstream into it made it just right). I have to say though, I speak perfect french, and I had to turn the subtitles on. Not just for the sheer amount of France slang, but, with the exception of Jean Reno, they all seem to have hot potatoes in their mouths. They were the Merry Mumblers. Especially Vincent Cassel. Holy crap. I could just barely make out what he was saying. The end of the film was pretty awesome on the spot, but then, once the film is over and you start thinking about it, there’s just no way. It makes no sense. So I’m choosing not to think about it, and it gets to keep its score of 7/10.

The movie is currently streaming on Netflix in its original french, english subtitles available.

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Insidious Chapter 2

Insidious Chapter 2
(2013) Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Steve Coulter, Lin Shaye, Ty Simpkins, Barbara Hershey and Leigh Whannell

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Well, there’s 1h45 that I’m never going to see again. Considering how good (if a little silly near the end) the first one was, I was so disappointed in this sequel. The story was interesting, but is told in such a fashion that it bored me out of my gourd. I was so bored, in fact, that halfway through I took out my phone to play Tiny Death Star. Despite the interesting story, the movie just fails to captivate, and that’s a big no-no, especially for horror films. I should be looking away from the screen because I’m scared, not because I’m bored. 4/10, and that’s probably me being over-generous.

This film is not currently on Netflix. Save yourself some time and money, and don’t bother renting it.

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Vamps

Vamps
(2012) Alicia Silverstone, Krysten Ritter, Dan Stevens, Wallace Shawn, Richard Lewis, Malcolm McDowell and Sigourney Weaver

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I went into this expecting Clueless with fangs, and that’s exactly what I got, and so much more. This film is funny, touching and schmoopy. Alicia plays the role to a T, as I knew she would, but really, where does she get the nerve to still look THAT gorgeous?? I was a little surprised by the ending, I wasn’t expecting such a light film to end so tragically, but it didn’t take away from it at all. Clueless was, and still is, one of my very favourite guilty pleasures, and this one will take it’s spot right next to it. A very solid 9/10.

The film isn’t currently on Netflix. But go find somewhere else to rent it, it’s worth every penny. Or you can be cheap and download it. It’s all the same to me :-p

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: American Mary

American Mary
(2013) Katharine Isabelle, Antonio Cupo, Tristan Risk, David Lovgren and Paula Lindberg

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I wasn’t sure what to expect while going into this film. I’m not a fan of the so-called torture-porn, and while I had heard good things about this film, I didn’t know if it was going to be graphic about the surgeries. Thankfully, it wasn’t too bad at all, which allowed me to enjoy the rest of the film. Katharine Isabelle is wonderful as Mary, who starts out so apple pie, but quickly goes a little mad after being raped by her professor. I was a little disappointed by the ending, which is why it got 8.5 stars instead of the 9 or 9.5 I thought I’d give it. It just felt slapped on and rushed, like the Soska sisters just decided to say “Ok, bored now, wrap this up”. Despite that, it was a very entertaining film. I give it a solid 8.5/10.

The film is currently streaming on Netflix. Have a bloody good time!

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Blair Witch Project

The Blair Witch Project
(1999) Heather Donahue, Michael Williams and Joshua Leonard

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The Blair Witch Project was brilliant in so many ways. It was well thought out, a great idea, well marketed and groundbreaking. That being said, I hated it. I don’t know if I would have liked it more had I seen it not knowing it was fake. I sat there watching, waiting, hoping it would get better, and when it ended with never having done anything, I threw my remaining popcorn at the tv. I’ve seen a a lot of horror films in my day. Like A LOT. And not many of them bored me quite as much as Blair Witch did. We also have this film to thank for the ever-increasing amount of found-footage films being made. So thanks so much!! That was sarcasm, in case you missed it. These films need to stop. No, really, we’ve had enough. 1/10, only for the cool way it was marketed.

I think the film is on Netflix, but I’m not 100% sure. Go check for yourself if you’re interested :-p

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Twixt

Twixt
(2012) Val Kilmer, Elle Fanning, Bruce Dern, Ben Chaplin, David Paymer, Alden Ehrenreich and Anthony Fusco

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Rather strange little film about a writer who uses his dreams to help him tell the tale of a murdered girl. I didn’t love it, but I didn’t not like it, either. It was beautiful to look at, that’s for sure, the dream sequences were absolutely surreal. But in the end, it suffered from being just a little too self indulgent which made it lag quite severely a few times during the film. 6/10, with maybe an extra .5 going to Val’s hair :-p

The film is currently streaming on Netflix. Enjoy! 🙂

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Hawking and Alien Planet

I missed a day (or two) of my reviews so today I’ll do two, just to catch up a bit, hehe.

Hawking
(2004) Benedict Cumberbatch, Lisa Dillon, Tom Ward, John Sessions, Peter Firth and Phoebe Nicholls

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A wonderful little film that I found quite by accident on YouTube. I was showing my husband something on Stephen Hawking when, much to my surprise and joy, I found this film starring Benedict Cumberbatch, who I absolutely adore. And he knocked it out of the park with this one. His acting was out of this world. I totally believed his performance. The film on the whole was very good, only one part was a little laggy, the rest was wonderful. A solid 8.5/10.

I’m not sure if the film is on Netflix. but here’s the whole thing from YouTube.

 

Alien Planet
(2005) John C McGinley (v.o.), Michio Kaku, Stephen Hawking, George Lucas, Wayne D Barlowe and Curtis Clark

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Pretty darn cool “what if” scenario to what we would find on an Earth-like planet, Darwin IV. Everything in the film that has to do with the travel and the planet itself is made with awesome CGI, and features “real interviews” with scientists who are working on the actual project, but who were asked to act as if the project were already under-way and successful. It’s really cool. 9.5/10, great fun.

The film is currently streaming on Netflix, and there’s a full version on YouTube.

 

Enjoy! And I’ll try to not skip any more days, hehe.

M.