My Top 15 Serial Killer Films

So my Top 50 Horror Films post was quite a hit with (mostly) everyone. Those that didn’t like it are those I like to call horror’s snobs, you know the type. They only like the “classic horror”, and enjoy looking down their noses at us little people who enjoy a lot of newer stuff (how dare we?? It’s so gauche!)
But even those who enjoyed the post had some little quibbles, the one asked about most often was “where are all the serial killer / slasher films?” And it’s true, my list was almost completely devoid of any serial killers. Out of a list of 50, I think I only had 3 killers in there. The reason is, is I don’t really consider serial killer films, despite the horrific subject matter, to be horror. They’re thrillers, suspense, mysteries, sometimes even comedies. Also, leaving them out means that I can do an article like this, and not have to worry about too much repetition, hehehe.

To keep this list shorter (and unrepetitive), I’m only including films with human killers that have no supernatural abilities. Also, spoiler alert, since I’ll be including methods of killing and a body count. The body count, by the way, will be deaths caused by the killers’ own hands (or by their devices). I won’t include deaths caused by accidents, nor those committed by other people. I also won’t include ‘implied deaths’, those talked about by the characters but not seen on screen, nor those that leave the question of the character’s death up in the air.

And on that note, let’s get this show on the road! Enjoy! 😀

 

NUMBER FIFTEEN

15 I Know What You Did Last Summer

Title: I Know What You Did Last Summer
Released in: 1997
Starring: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, Freddie Prinze Jr, Bridgette Wilson, Anne Heche, Johnny Galecki, and Muse Watson
Directed by: Jim Gillespie
Written by: Kevin Williamson
Based On: The novel of the same name by Lois Duncan
The Killer’s Mode of Dispatching Victims: Chases after them in a ridiculously calm fashion, and slices them open with a big fisherman’s hook.
Onscreen Body Count: 5
5 Second Synopsis: One year after graduating from high school, four friends’ gruesome secret comes back to get them, as the man they hit on the road wasn’t as dead as they thought.
Why I Love It: The 90’s were an excellent year for serial killer films, both for the teen and adult audiences. After the success of Scream, many companies started making serial killer pictures, with varying results. This one is obviously aimed at teens, but it was one of the better quality ones, along with a few others that you’ll be seeing later in the list.

 

NUMBER FOURTEEN

14 The Raven

Title: The Raven
Released in: 2012
Starring: John Cusack, Luke Evans, Alice Eve, Brendan Gleeson, Kevin McNally, Oliver Jackson-Cohen, and Pam Ferris
Directed by: James McTeigue
Written by: Hannah Shakespeare, Ben Livingston
Based On: (Very) loosely based on the final days of Edgar Allan Poe’s life.
The Killer’s Mode of Dispatching Victims: Victims are killed in the same fashion as characters in Poe’s stories, including the razor pendulum from The Pit and the Pendulum.
Body Count: 4
5 Second Synopsis: A serial killer uses Edgar Allan Poe’s various works to inspire horrific murders.
Why I Love It: John Cusack and Edgar Allan Poe, a match made in heaven. Cusack is a wonderful character actor, and he showcases it well here.

 

NUMBER THIRTEEN

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Title: Clay Pigeons
Released in: 1998
Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Vince Vaughn, Janeane Garofalo, Georgina Cates, Scott Wilson, Vince Vieluf, Nikki Arlyn, and Phil Morris
Directed by: David Dobkin
Written by: Matthew L Healy
Based On: N/A
The Killer’s Mode of Dispatching Victims: Gun
Body Count: 2 (suspected of 7 more across the country)
5 Second Synopsis: After his best friend kills himself, a troubled young man meets and befriends a charming serial killer, who’s got a detective hot on his trail, and who starts to suspect that he’s the one doing the killing.
Why I Love It: Funny and smart, this one’s a real hidden gem of the 90’s. If you’re a fan of wry wit and find things that shouldn’t be funny funny, I definitely reccomend this one. Plus, eye candy en masse.

 

NUMBER TWELVE

12 Urban Legend

Title: Urban Legend
Released in: 1998
Starring: Alicia Witt, Jared Leto, Rebecca Gayheart, Michael Rosenbaum, Joshua Jackson, Tara Reid, Loretta Devine, John Neville, Danielle Harris, and Robert Englund
Directed by: Jamie Blanks
Written by: Silvio Horta
Based On: N/A
The Killer’s Mode of Dispatching Victims: Axe, killing in the manner of various urban legends.
Body Count: 9 (plus one dog)
5 Second Synopsis: A killer uses urban legends as inspiration as he stalks his victims, who all attend or work at a university.
Why I Love It: Another one aimed at teens, I love this one for the fun deaths, plus Jared Leto. Never mind that the identity of the killer is implausible and downright silly. Just turn off your brain, and enjoy.

 

NUMBER ELEVEN

11 Bon Cop Bad Cop

Title: Bon Cop, Bad Cop
Released in: 2006
Starring: Patrick Huard, Colm Feore, Sarain Boylan, Lucie Laurier, Richard Howland, Louis-José Houde, Pierre Boudreau, and Patrice Bélanger
Directed by: Erik Canuel
Written by: Leila Basen, Alex Epstein
Based On: N/A
The Killer’s Mode of Dispatching Victims: Victims are tattooed before being shot
Body Count: 4
5 Second Synopsis: A serial killer is targeting victims who are related in some way to professional hockey. Since killings are happening in both Ontario and Quebec, the two forces team up and find they have very different methods.
Why I Love It: If you’re not from Quebec or Ontario, I’m not sure how much you’d enjoy this, since most of the jokes are really about the differences between language and attitudes of the two provinces. But for those who are, this is a definite must-see. It really doesn’t matter what the plot is (I barely remember), but I remember laughing myself silly. Being someone with family in both Ontario and Quebec, I can laugh at both sides, and that’s what really makes this film. It’s completely bilingual (english and french), so if you don’t understand one or the other you’ll need the subtitles to understand half the film, but it’s worth it. So funny.

 

NUMBER TEN

10 Psycho

Title: Psycho
Released in: 1960
Starring: Anthony Perkins, Vera Miles, Janet Leigh, John Gavin, Martin Balsam, John McIntire, and Virginia Gregg
Directed by: Alfred Hitchcock
Written by: Joseph Stefano
Based On: The novel of the same name by Robert Bloch
The Killer’s Mode of Dispatching Victims: Stabbing
Body Count: 2 (suspected of more)
5 Second Synopsis: A woman, worrying about her missing sister, ends up at a small motel run by a very strange young man, who’s hiding a murderous secret.
Why I Love It: Do I really need to explain? One of the original greats, there probably would be much less slasher films had this one not been made.

 

NUMBER NINE

9 From Hell

Title: From Hell
Released in: 2001
Starring: Johnny Depp, Heather Graham, Ian Holm, Robbie Coltrane, Ian Richardson, Jason Flemyng, Katrin Cartlidge, Susan Lynch, Lesley Sharp, and Annabelle Apsion
Directed by: The Hughes Brothers
Written by: Terry Hayes, Rafael Yglesias
Based On: The graphic novel of the same name by Alan Moore and Eddie Campbell
The Killer’s Mode of Dispatching Victims: Stabbing (with extreme over-kill)
Body Count: 5
5 Second Synopsis: A detective is called in to investigate brutal slayings in a poor district of London.
Why I Love It: I eat anything having to do with Jack the Ripper right up, so it was a given that I’d enjoy this. The fact that it’s actually good and stars Johnny Depp is just gravy.

 

NUMBER EIGHT

8 Identity

Title: Identity
Released in: 2003
Starring: John Cusack, Ray Liotta, Amanda Peet, John Hawkes, Alfred Molina, Clea DuVall, John C McGinley, William Lee Scott, Jake Busey, Rebecca De Mornay, and Pruitt Taylor Vince
Directed by: James Mangold
Written by: Michael Cooney
Based On: N/A
The Killer’s Mode of Dispatching Victims: Uses whatever’s on hand
Body Count: 9
5 Second Synopsis: Stranded at a desolate Nevada motel during a nasty rain-storm, ten strangers become acquainted with each other when they realize that they’re being killed off one by one.
Why I Love It: Except the last two minutes, this is an awesome film. I may be stretching the ‘non-supernatural’ line here, but it’s so good I had to add it. Some shaky acting from some of the supporting cast, but they aren’t onscreen enough for it to ruin the film.

 

NUMBER SEVEN

7 Freeway

Title: Freeway
Released in: 1996
Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Kiefer Sutherland, Dan Hedaya, Wolfgang Bodison, Michael T Weiss, Brittany Murphy, Conchata Ferrell, and Brooke Shields
Directed by: Matthew Bright
Written by: Matthew Bright
Based On: Very loosely based on The Little Red Riding Hood
The Killer’s Mode of Dispatching Victims: Strangulation (and necrophilia)
Body Count: 2 (many more offscreen)
5 Second Synopsis: A teen on the run from social services gets picked up by a man on the highway who turns out to be a serial killer. Much to his chagrin, she won’t go down easy.
Why I Love It: This film is absolutely nuts, and I absolutely love it. I can’t even really explain why, I just do. What I do know is that I want some of whatever Matthew Bright is on…

 

NUMBER SIX

6 Saw

Title: Saw
Released in: 2004
Starring: Leigh Whannell, Cary Elwes, Danny Glover, Ken Leung, Dina Meyer, Michael Emerson, Shawnee Smith, and Monica Potter
Directed by: James Wan
Written by: Leigh Whannell, James Wan
Based On: N/A
The Killer’s Mode of Dispatching Victims: Different kinds of elaborate traps
Body Count: 3
5 Second Synopsis: Two men wake up in an almost empty room, each chained by the foot on opposite ends of the room, with a dead man sprawled on the ground between them. A cassette player informs them that to escape one must kill the other, or saw their own foot off with a provided jigsaw.
Why I Love It: When it first came out, Saw was unlike anything the horror genre had seen in a long time, a real breath of fresh air. It was a wonderful idea, and very well executed, with only a little shaky acting sometimes. Unfortunately, with all the sequels that came after, the Saw name became synonymous with ‘crap’, and the brilliance of the first film became lost in the sea of awful sequels.

 

NUMBER FIVE

5 Seven

Title: Seven
Released in: 1995
Starring: Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, Gwyneth Paltrow, Daniel Zacapa, John Cassini, R Lee Ermey, and Kevin Spacey
Directed by: David Fincher
Written by: Andrew Kevin Walker
Based On: N/A
The Killer’s Mode of Dispatching Victims: Various, based on the seven deadly sins
Body Count: 3
5 Second Synopsis: Two detectives, a rookie and a veteran, hunt a serial killer who uses the seven deadly sins as his modus operandi.
Why I Love It: Such a brilliant piece of film. Well written, well acted, with a killer ending that will stick with you long after the movie is done.

 

NUMBER FOUR

4 Scream

Title: Scream
Released in: 1996
Starring: Neve Campbell, Skeet Ulrich, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Rose McGowan, Matthew Lillard, Drew Barrymore, W Earl Brown, Jamie Kennedy, and Roger Jackson
Directed by: Wes Craven
Written by: Kevin Williamson
Based On: N/A
The Killer’s Mode of Dispatching Victims: Stabbing, plus one death by garage door
Body Count: 5
5 Second Synopsis: A masked killer begins murdering teenagers in a small town, and as the body count rises, one girl and her friends contemplate the ‘rules’ of horror films as they find themselves living in a real-life one.
Why I Love It: The best of the 90’s teen horror, this film was just what the genre needed at that time. Well written and acted, it takes the conventional boring slasher film, turns it on its head, and makes it fun.

 

NUMBER THREE

3 Copycat

Title: Copycat
Released in: 1995
Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Holly Hunter, Dermot Mulroney, William McNamara, Harry Connick Jr, JE Freeman, Will Patton, and John Rothman
Directed by: Jon Amiel
Written by: Ann Biderman, David Madsen
Based On: N/A
The Killer’s Mode of Dispatching Victims: Copying famous serial killers of the past
Body Count: 5
5 Second Synopsis: Two detectives contact an agoraphobic psychologist when a serial killers emerges, styling himself on serial killers of the past.
Why I Love It: Another great gem of the 90’s, this is definitely one of the better ones. All the acting is strong, the writing is smart, and the ending isn’t completely implausible. A near perfect thriller.

 

NUMBER TWO

2 Mr Brooks

Title: Mr Brooks
Released in: 2007
Starring: Kevin Costner, Demi Moore, Dane Cook, William Hurt, Danielle Panabaker, Marg Helgenberger, Aisha Hinds, Lindsay Crouse, and Jason Lewis
Directed by: Bruce A Evans
Written by: Bruce A Evans, Raynold Gideon
Based On: N/A
The Killer’s Mode of Dispatching Victims: Gun
Body Count: 5 (many more before)
5 Second Synopsis: A businessman who highlights as a serial killer is blackmailed by a photographer who happened to take pictures of his latest murder.
Why I Love It: This film is perfect, until the last three minutes. They don’t exist to me. But everything before that, awesome. Even Demi Moore and Dane Cook crank out good performances, and that’s saying something.

 

NUMBER ONE

1 Silence of the Lambs

Title: The Silence of the Lambs
Released in: 1991
Starring: Jodie Foster, Anthony Hopkins, Scott Glenn, Ted Levine, Anthony Heald, Frankie Faison, Brooke Smith, Lawrence T Wrentz, and Diane Baker
Directed by: Jonathan Demme
Written by: Ted Tally
Based On: The novel of the same name by Thomas Harris
5 Second Synopsis: A young FBI rookie is sent to ask the help of brilliant cannibalistic killer Dr Hannibal Lecter in catching another killer who kidnaps his victims, holds them for many days, then skins them to make a ‘woman suit’.
Why I Love It: I really don’t think I need to explain. Over 20 years, and it’s still number one. They just don’t make them like this anymore. Shame.

 

And, that’s it! What are your favourite serial killer films? Let me know in the comments, and stay tuned for more!

M.

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Stephen King’s The Stand – Dream Cast

One of these days, this project is going to get off the ground, I know it will. But really, they’ve got to stop yanking our chains and get this ball rolling before all the directors on the planet attach and detach themselves from the project. David Yates (of Harry Potter fame) was originally set to direct, but he dropped out because he felt the story should be told as a mini-series on tv, not a movie. Then Ben Affleck signed on, and I was very happy with that. Because as crappy as he is as an actor, the man is brilliant behind the camera. He should stay there. That was in late 2011. When absolutely nothing moved forward by August 2013, Ben dropped out to play Batman (which made me and every other geek on the planet cringe horribly, I’m sure). Scott Cooper (Crazy Heart) then joined himself to the project, just to drop out a little while later over “creative differences”.

So while the studios are scrambling around trying to find someone to write and direct the thing, I’ve been thinking of the cast. Now I’m a big fan of the original mini-series, but even I can admit that not all the actors were very good. In fact a few of them downright stank. And the style of filming, of acting, dress, talk, music and everything else is very, very 90’s, so everything would need a good updating (Baby, Can You Dig Yo’ Man? may need a little tweeking :-p ).

So, while thinking of all this, I did what every person with way too much time on their hands would do: I made a list of the actors I would love to see in each of the roles (and a few extras, just in case my first choice is busy, hehehe).

 

STU REDMAN (originally played by Gary Sinise)

Stu isn’t described much beyond being a “quiet man from Texas”. King seems to like us to make our own images of what the characters look like by what they say and do. I liked Gary Sinise in the role, but something was off. I’m not sure what.

MY PICK: Timothy Olyphant
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Ok, so he’s much prettier than I’d ever imagined Stu being, but I’m sure Timothy could handle looking scruffy. Plus he’s good at accents, so I’m sure he’d pull off Stu’s creamy southern drawl well.

Other choices: Colin Farrell, Nathan Fillion or Josh Brolin.

 

RANDALL FLAGG (originally played by Jamey Sheridan)

Flagg is described as “He looks like anybody you see on the street. But when he grins, birds fall dead off telephone lines.” Flagg was one of the characters I didn’t like all that much. The actor did a good job with what he was given, but he came across as too humourous. Flagg is supposed to be fucking creepy in a scary way, not a funny way.

MY PICK: Viggo Mortensen
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Viggo’s a damn fine actor, and can be creepy as hell. Remember him in The Prophecy? I still get goosebumps.

Other choices: Karl Urban, Guy Pearce, or Willem Dafoe.

 

FRANNIE GOLDSMITH (originally played by Molly Ringwald)

Frannie is described as a pregnant, red-headed college student. She was my least favorite character in the mini-series. Molly Ringwald was so wrong for the role.

MY PICK: Emily Blunt
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She’s beautiful, and can actually act.

Other picks: Alyson Hannigan, Megan Good, or Ellen Page.

 

MOTHER ABIGAIL (originally played by Ruby Dee)

Mother Abigail is described as being a tiny, black, 108 year old woman (who still bakes her own bread). Ruby Dee did an amazing job, and I wouldn’t dream of seeing anyone else in the role.
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LARRY UNDERWOOD (originally played by Adam Storke)

Larry’s described as a young, cocky singer. Adam was great in the role, but unfortunately too old to do it again.

MY PICK: Jared Leto
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Not only is he disgustingly beautiful, he’s got an amazing voice, and can really act. Bitch. I’m not digging his current Jesus thing he’s got going on right now (I much preferred the all dark, or black and red), but he’s still gorgeous. And he’s FINALLY getting the recognition he deserves (with both a Golden Globe and an Oscar for his role in Dallas Buyer’s Club). But anyways, I’m rambling here. The point is, he’d be perfect for this part. I’m sure he’d come up with a bitchin’ version of Baby, Can You Dig Yo’ Man?, hehehe.

Other picks: Orlando Bloom, Casey Affleck or Cillian Murphy.

 

HAROLD LAUDER (originally played by Corin Nemec)

Harold’s described as a geeky 16 year old at the start, but gradually becomes quite attractive as the book goes on. Corin Nemec did a good job acting Harold, but the look was so very wrong.

MY PICK: Jon Heder
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Ok, he might be a little old for the part. But so was Corin Nemec, so meh. I think he’d be so perfect for the part. He obviously does geeky well (Napoleon Dynamite anyone?) but I think he’s also really cute. He was downright adorable in Just Like Heaven.

Other picks: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Michael Cera, or Ryan Gosling.

 

NADINE CROSS (originally played by Laura San Giacomo)

Nadine is described as a young, virginal, private school teacher. Laura San Giacomo looked like none of those things. This has got to be one of the worst casting decisions in history. And yes, I’m including Ben Affleck’s Batman. Seriously, it’s bad.

MY PICK: Natalie Portman
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She’s a wonderful actress, and great at descending into madness.

Other picks: Kat Dennings, Mila Kunis, or Genevieve Cortese (or is it Genevieve Padalecki now? Or Cortese-Padalecki? Whew, that would be a mouthful… Anyways, whatever, you know who I mean :-p )

 

NICK ANDROS (originally played by Rob Lowe)

Nick is described as being 22, beautiful, and deaf and dumb. Rob Lowe was awesome in the role, but unfortunately too old to do it again.

MY PICK: Jackson Rathbone
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Doesn’t get much more beautiful than Jackson, who is easily the best thing in every film he’s been in. Just look at those eyeballs, ah! I could drown in those pools. He doesn’t always pick the best material (*cough* The Last Airbender *cough*), but when given the chance to shine, he does, very bright.

Other picks: Ben Barnes, Jensen Ackles, or Ian Somerhalder.

 

TOM CULLEN (originally played by Bill Fagerbakke)

Tom is described as a big man with mild to moderate mental retardation, of indeterminate age. Bill Fagerbakke did an amazing job as Tom, and I couldn’t think of anyone else to do the job. And since he’s of “indeterminate age”, it doesn’t matter that the actor aged.
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LLOYD HENREID (originally played by Miguel Ferrer)

Lloyd is described as a petty thief who ends up on a killing spree with his partner, Poke. Miguel Ferrer did a great job in the role.

MY PICK: David Duchovny
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He’s a great actor, and is good at playing skeezy roles. And really, we don’t see enough of David. I don’t watch his show, Californication, so I barely see him at all. I have to watch The X Files to get my Duchovny-fix, hehe.

Other picks: Stephen Moyer, James Spader, or Brad Pitt.

 

TRASHCAN MAN (originally played by Matt Frewer)

Trash is described as a schizophrenic pyromaniac. He wanders setting whole cities ablaze until he’s recruited by Flagg.

MY PICK: Jackie Earle Haley
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Creepy and crazy. Nuff said.

Other picks: Steve Buscemi, Woody Harrelson, or Gabriel Byrne.

 

GLEN BATEMAN (originally played by Ray Walston)

Glen is described as a retired sociology professor handicapped by arthritis.

MY PICK: Ian McKellan
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The obvious choice for the wise old man, I know, but hey. If it ain’t broke…

Other picks: Anthony Hopkins, Christopher Walken, or Clint Eastwood.

 

JULIE LAWRY (originally played by Shawnee Smith)

Julie is described as an unstable, sex crazed teenager. Shawnee Smith was absolutely perfect in the role, and replacing her will be crazy hard, but it must be done. As beautiful as she still looks, she definitely doesn’t look like a teenager anymore.

MY PICK: Dakota Fanning
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She’s an amazing young actress. She’s got unbelievable range, especially for someone so young.

Other picks: Jennifer Lawrence, Jodelle Ferland, or Hayden Pantenierre.

 

There are many other characters in the book, but I’m tired now :p Maybe If I ever feel like a real big challenge, I’ll sit down with the book and make a list of the others. But, for now… The End 🙂

M.

The Most Beautiful Men

It’s no secret: I like beautiful men. I have a pretty specific genre that I like, and if there’s anyone who I find beautiful that’s not in my usual criteria, you can imagine that he’s as damn near perfect as a person can get, hehe. There isn’t really much else to say, this post is pure visual candy. I’m oogling them, and unashamed. Care to join me? Here they are, in alphabetical order (since that’s how they’re ordered in my pictures file :-p ), the men in the entertainment industry that I find the best looking. (For those who prefer women, worry not! I shall do another post like this about the ladies!)

 

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I’ve known who Alexander is for a good while now, but I hadn’t seen anything that he’d done until True Blood. And really, they couldn’t have picked a better actor to portray the thousand year old Viking. He definitely looked his best in season 1, when they actually had him looking like a Viking. He hadn’t cut his hair for a thousand years, why on earth would he start now?? That’s just one of the (many) things that annoy me about the show. But I digress…

 

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Andy Biersack is the lead singer for the rock group Black Veil Brides. I don’t like all their music, but it’s mostly pretty good, and the band is talented. Andy’s vocals are quite amazing, surprisingly deep for someone that looks so… girly :-p If I were putting this list in order, Andy would be very near the top, maybe even number one. Let’s just pretend, for skeezyness’ sake, that he’s not only 21 years old, ok…?

 

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Dorian Gray. That’s really all I need to say here. A quite liberal take on the book, I nevertheless enjoyed the movie quite a bit. I’m sure seeing almost all of Ben’s skin had nothing to do with that… He’s got such a baby face that I was surprised (and rather relieved) that he’s the same age as me!

 

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Before Star Trek 2, I’d never heard of Benedict. My friends have been singing the praises of Sherlock since it came out, but I’d never gotten around to watching it until recently. Before I saw him on the big screen, I’d only seen pictures, and was unimpressed. I thought he was just weird looking, like a strange elf. And then I saw him in action on-screen. And oh. My. God. I had to take back every single thing I said about him. I was so smitten that the very next day after seeing ST2, I hooked myself up to Netflix and watched Sherlock. Watching him in action as the famous sleuth literally takes my breath away. And that voice… mm.

 

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Before Hemlock Grove, I didn’t even know Alexander had a brother (let alone the 3 other siblings he’s got besides Bill!), but after watching the show I have to ask myself, what the heck is in the water in Sweden?? I mean really.

 

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Lead singer for the alternative band Placebo, I’ve been in love with Brian Molko (and Placebo) since I graduated high school. He’s got such a unique voice, makes such amazing, powerful, meaningful music that it’s literally impossible to not love him. He’s 40 now, but he still looks freaking fabulous!

 

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Colin looks good in pretty much everything he’s been in. And if he happens to be in a role that allows him use of his real accent (Irish), the hotness doubles. But if I had to choose the one film he looked best in, I’d have to go with Fright Night, even though he doesn’t have the accent. Cause he plays a vampire, and that trumps everything :-p

 

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I’m sure any girl my age would agree with me, David was the ultimate heartthrob of the 90’s. I was in high school when Buffy the Vampire Slayer first aired, and, like every other teenaged girl with eyes, I was immediately smitten with the vampiric Angel. He plays in Bones now, which is in it’s 9th season, and he hasn’t lost any of his appeal. His few forays onto the big screen went mostly unnoticed (for good reason), but that’s ok. He doesn’t need to be in films to be awesome. TV is a good place to be.

 

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Ah, Doctor. My beautiful, lonely, messed-up Doctor. I’ve only recently discovered Doctor Who, but I’m so very glad I did. David could look good sitting in a burlap sack while reading a phone book. Thankfully though, his roles make him look much better than that. I’m going to say, in the looks department, it’ll be a tie between Doctor Who and Fright Night. If only for the shirtless, leather-pants-clad scene alone.

 

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Cellist in the alternative band Apocalytica, Eicca is as talented as he is beautiful. I saw them live a few years back, and I have to say it’s one of the best shows I’ve ever been to. And I’ve been to a lot. Eicca’s weight fluctuates a lot, so sometimes he looks much rounder than usual. I guess that’s when he’s been off tour for a while. Cause the way they run around the stage with their huge instruments night after night, there’s no way he’d keep on any extra pounds! hehe

 

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I’ve loved Elijah since I was a kid. We’re almost the exact same age (he’s 7 months older) so we kinda grew up together. He was a cute kid, then he went through this horrible gawky stage in his teens, but thankfully he grew out of it, and now he’s gorgeous. He’s got the goofiest smile, I think it’s perfectly charming. And those eyes, my goodness. You could fall right into those pools. He’s a wonderful actor, too, which makes him even better!

 

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While he’s gotten too “manly” for me, the first film I saw him in floored me. His role as Dracula in Dracula 2000 was absolutely perfect. It’s still one of my favourite Dracula performances. Taken as what it’s meant to be, Dracula 2000 is awesome.

 

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I’d never heard of Harry before Game of Thrones, although I did just recently see him in a two-part episode of Doctor Who. And while he was cute in the episode, if I were picking favourites, it would definitely be his role as the snivelling ass-hat Prince Viserys. The character has absolutely no redeeming qualities, but my-oh-my was he beautiful. That scene with the girl in the bathtub…. *phew*

 

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I first saw Jackson in Twilight, and while his hair was weird, his face is absolutely stunning. I haven’t seen all his movies, but I think he probably looked his best in The Last Airbender. Mediocre movie at best, but boy, did he make it worthwhile! He really is a great actor, and you can actually see it when he picks good projects to be in (like that chilling episode of Criminal Minds…)

 

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This man seemingly has it all; looks, acting talent, and a hell of a set of pipes. I don’t know where he thinks he gets off being so  talented, I mean really, save some for the rest of us! I’ve seen his band, 30 Seconds to Mars, live twice. And last time I even waited around after the show so I could get his autograph. I’ve never done that before. He’s the first celebrity that I’ve ever touched (our fingers brushed while I took my CD back, ooh :-p ), and while I’m sure it didn’t do anything life-altering to me, it was cool to meet him nonetheless, hehe.

 

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Dean Winchester. Really, do I have to say anything more than that?? You have no idea how happy it makes me that a man this beautiful loves to do horror. It’s just a shame that, despite his looks and talent, he can’t seem to find a good film role. That’s ok, as long as he keeps doing Supernatural, it’s all good.

 

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Beautiful and talented, Johnny’s been one of my favourite actors since I first saw him, all those years ago, in Cry-Baby, which, by rights, should be a very bad movie, and yet somehow isn’t. Or, maybe it is, and I just don’t see it, hehe. Actually, technically it would be Nightmare on Elm Street that I first saw him in, but I was so young that I hardly remember at all, and I actually didn’t know it was Johnny in the role till I saw it again somewhere in my late teens. But my favourite film of his is probably still Sleepy Hollow. Man, I love that flick… Johnny owns a club called The Viper Room in LA (where River Phoenix tragically died), and I went there on my trip to LA a few years back. Sadly, he was not in attendance :-p

 

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I first saw Jonathan in Velvet Goldmine, and have been in love ever since. It seems unfair that someone so attractive should also be so talented, but there you have it. He’s looked amazing in almost all of his roles, but I’d have to pick Titus as the top. The combo of the long hair and tattoos just rocked me. I’m looking forward to see his portrayal of Dracula. As usual, I’m waiting till the end of the season so I can watch at my leisure. So hurry up, dammit! hehe

 

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Jon Snow. That is all. I haven’t seen Kit in anything but Game of Thrones, but with the talent and looks he’s got, I’m sure we’ll be seeing him pop up more in time.

 

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While Lee Pace looks good no matter what he’s doing, He was jaw-droppingly gorgeous (for all of 2 seconds) in The Hobbit. I was so happy to see that he was in this movie, and after spending the whole movie waiting to see him again, I was quite upset it never happened. Thank goodness there’s two other Hobbit films to come! I certainly hope I’ll get to see the second before it leaves cinemas!

 

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Matthew (of the ever-changing hair) is the lead singer for alternative rock band Muse, one of my very favourite bands. I *finally* got to see them live this year (last time they came round I found out on the day of. I was not amused), and it was fan-bloody-tastic. If I believed in angels, I’d say his voice was a gift straight from the angels. As it is, I’ll just say his voice is amazing. And he sounds just as good live as he does on the CD. You’d be surprised (or not) at how many singers don’t.

 

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I’ve just recently started watching Criminal Minds, and boy am I glad I did (and not only because of Matthew). It’s such a great show, awesome stories, solid acting all the way around, just generally a great show. Not a very realistic view of FBI procedures I’m sure, but really now, what show is? I’m at season 7 now, at the beginning, I’ve only watched the first episode. Matthew’s character, Dr Spencer Reid, is one of the best characters in the show. He’s a gorgeous geek, and a complete genius. I’ve only seen him in one film (How to be a Serial Killer), but it was pretty good, if a little weird. I don’t actually know what else he’s been in. I should probably check it out… And, yes, I just realized I spelled his name wrong in my picture, but I’m too lazy to change it. So there.

 

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Castiel. Nuff said. Oddly enough, when Castiel first showed himself in season 4 of Supernatural, I wasn’t all that impressed. He was good looking, yes, but nothing special. But through his interaction with Dean Winchester, and the force of his personality, he got more beautiful by the second. I’m so upset at the direction that Supernatural writers took the character, especially in season 7. He just doesn’t feel like the same person any more. I know character development is important in a show, but really, did he have to “develop” that far??

 

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My favourite Nicholas Hoult film is definitely Warm Bodies, but I can’t really say that’s the film he looks the best in. The goth/emo look is fine. Dead? Not so much. But he was absolutely breathtaking in A Single Man. And not because he was naked a whole lot near the end. Ok, not just because… :-p But holy crap, what a downer that film was, especially the ending. I was so emotionally wrung out after that, I needed to watch a cartoon afterwards, hehe.

 

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I first saw Orlando in Lord of the Rings and he literally took my breath away. Not the best of actors, but when you look like he does, I suppose it doesn’t matter too much. To choose whether he looked better in Lord of the Rings or Pirates of the Caribbean, though, that’s impossible. So I call a tie. Looking forward to seeing him in The Desolation of Smaug, even though, from what I saw in the trailers, his face seems to be very CGI’d. Did he age that badly in just over 10 years..?

 

Robert Downey Jr

I’ve loved Robert Downey Jr since I was a kid. He’s so talented, I just can’t believe he still doesn’t have an Oscar. He was nominated twice, but never won. What a shame. But like a fine wine, Robert seems to get better with age. He’s always been good looking, but he was positively gorgeous as Tony Stark. And he still makes my heart flutter in Only You, one of my all-time favourite chick flicks.

 

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Strangely enough, when I first saw Thor, I can’t say that I really noticed Tom. I’m not sure why, maybe I wasn’t paying enough attention. But then The Avengers came out, and my jaw literally hit the floor. That scene where Loki’s at the party, coming down the stairs, in that suit? The man couldn’t have looked more perfect than if he’d walked straight out of my dreams.

 

Honourable mentions for actors who have passed away

I feel a little gross including dead men in my list of beauties, so I’ll list a few off here, to remind you how good looking they were in life:

River Phoenix (The Thing Called Love, Stand By Me)
Heath Ledger (10 Things I Hate About You, The Dark Knight)
Brandon Lee (The Crow)
Brad Renfro (The Client, Apt Pupil)
Corey Haim (The Lost Boys, Just One of the Girls)
Kurt Cobain (singer of alternative band Nirvana)
Glenn Quinn (Angel)

And that’s it. What did you think? Which male celebrities make you weak in the knees? Let me know in the comments, and stay tuned for more!! 🙂

M.