Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Last Days on Mars

The Last Days on Mars
(2013) Liev Schreiber, Elias Koteas, Romola Garai, Olivia Williams, Johnny Harris, Goran Kostic, and Tom Cullen


I’m not the biggest fan of indie sci-fi, but I’d been pleasantly surprised by Europa Report, so I decided to go ahead and give this one a try. What an awful, awful mistake that was. The film starts, and already everyone is on edge and acting strange. One of the leads keeps getting weird flashbacks, another is a mega-bitch who doesn’t even blink when the first body is found, asking instead if they will announce their findings. After 31 minutes of having characters telling each other to fuck off, still having no explanation as to how this crack team got to Mars in the first place (guess they went to the same Academy as the Prometheus crew), and a ridiculous amount of heavy breathing, I couldn’t do it anymore. I don’t often stop movies before they’re done, but I really couldn’t subject my brain to any more of this crap. 0/10.

This movie is currently streaming on Netflix, but do yourself a favour and don’t bother. Watch Europa Report instead. I’m not even going to go look for a trailer :-p


Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Haunting in Connecticut

The Haunting in Connecticut
(2009) Virginia Madsen, Kyle Gallner, Elias Koteas, Martin Donovan, Amanda Crew, Sophi Knight, Ty Wood, Erik Berg, John Bluethner, John B Lowe and DW Brown


For a film with such a generic title, it was pretty darn good. Great story (that I don’t believe for a second is true, but that’s besides the point), great acting, great everything. Scary too. It’s strange sometimes the things that end up scaring you the most. I can watch lots of different kinds of horror and not be fazed, but every so often, one film comes along that just hits every nerve just right (or should that be just wrong?) But I’m glad I discovered it nonetheless. Now that I’m massively creeped out though, it’s time to watch a chick flick. Or a kid’s film. Or funny cats on YouTube. Anything to change my mind from those creepy freaking ghosts! hehe. I give it a great 8.5/10.

This film (and its sequel, which I still haven’t seen) is currently streaming on Netflix if you’re in the mood for a scary good time! Enjoy! đŸ™‚