Mel’s 5 Second Review: Mad Max Fury Road

Mad Max: Fury Road
(2015) Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron, Nicholas Hoult, Hugh Keays-Byrne, Zoë Kravitz, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Riley Keough, Abbey Lee, Courtney Eaton, Nathan Jones, Josh Helman, John Howard, Richard Carter, Iota, Angus Sampson


So I wondered if I should do a review of this film at all. I mean there’s not much to really say about it. There’s virtually no plot, and the acting ranges from ok to mediocre (but at least never downright bad). The best actor in the film, by far, is the always lovable Nicholas Hoult who, somehow, still looked adorable while under all that makeup and prosthetic (just like he did in Warm Bodies, how on earth does he do it??).

But let’s get real for a second, no one who went to see this movie did so for the plot or the acting. The action sequences were, of course, stunning. Most of them were actually done live, with only a little CGI to help, and it really showed. That’s all there was to the film though, start to finish. There are little pockets of dialogue here and there, but mostly it’s dirt road war. Unfortunately, I need more than that to keep me entertained for a whole 2 hours. I made the mistake of stopping the film about 90 minutes in to go to the bathroom and grab a snack, and I actually had trouble starting the film up again. If my husband hadn’t been watching it with me and insisted on finishing it, I’m not actually sure if I would have finished. I probably would have, since there was so little time left, but the fact that I had to think about it should tell you something about how much I enjoyed it, or didn’t, rather. I didn’t hate it, the action sequences were entertaining, but I just wish we’d of had at least some plot and character development. People died from the good guys and it was hard to care, and that’s never a good sign. I also had some trouble with Tom Hardy’s voice (or, shall I say, his grunting), and accent sliding on and off. Either let him keep his accent, or don’t. Don’t let him do both!

All in all, it’s nothing more than a mediocre film with awesome effects and stunts. 6.5/10 (the extra .5 is for Tom Hardy’s lips. Meow.)


Mel’s 5 Second Review: Monster

(2003) Charlize Theron, Christina Ricci, Bruce Dern, Scott Wilson, Lee Tergesen, Annie Corley, Bubba Baker and Pruitt Taylor Vince


It’d be such a sweet love story if it wasn’t about a serial killer. And why on earth did they cast such beautiful actresses in the leads? Ok, they did a great job of making Charlize look ugly (although, even with the prosthetics and makeup, she’s still not as ugly as the real woman was, and that’s saying something), but Christina Ricci, even in that horrid haircut, is still gorgeous. The woman she’s portraying was over weight and mannish, not good looking at all. She’s also being played as a sweet, naive little girl (which she wasn’t), and Charlize played the killer as a sad, tragic figure instead of the monster she really was. 5.5/10, and that’s just for the stellar acting. I was actually pretty bored through most of the film.

This film is currently on Netflix. But if you’re interested in the real woman’s story, her A&E Bio and even her segment in season 2 of Investigation Discovery’s Deadly Women (also on Netflix) are more interesting (and more accurate) than this film. The following video is an interview with the real killer, one day before her execution. She’s the definition of “crazy bitch”.