Top 8 Onscreen Demons

Movies featuring demons are numerous, but there’s really only a small amount of them that are good. With such a high schlock content, a lot of films about or starring demons are awful, either being boring or stupid, or even both. But when done right, they can be downright terrifying.

I’ll only be including films in which the demon has a physical body, so no possession films. I’ll do another post dedicated to that sub-genre, since there are so many. So without any further ado, let’s get this show on the road. Oh, and spoiler alert, as usual.

 

NUMBER EIGHT

 Dogma

“No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater… than central air.”

Name: Azrael
From What?: Dogma
Played by: Jason Lee
Scary or sexy: Sexy-ish (he was kinda cute back in the day, hehe)
His Goal: To negate all of existence. Apparently hell is awful.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Silent Bob killed him with a golf club that had been blessed by a priest.

 

NUMBER SEVEN

HellBoy

“In the dark I heard your voice, what did you say?”
“I said, ‘Hey, you, on the other side – let her go. Because for her I will cross over, and then you’ll be sorry!'”

Name: Hellboy
From What?: Hellboy
Played by: Ron Perlman
Scary or sexy: Neither, really. Liz digs it, though, hehe.
His Goal: To stop the incoming Apocalypse and save his lady love.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

NUMBER SIX

Sinister

“The symbol is associated with a Pagan deity named Bughuul. He consumes the souls of human children. The ancient church believed that Bughuul actually lived in the images themselves and that they were gateways into his realm. Children exposed to these images were especially vulnerable to Bughuul’s abductions.”

Name: Bughuul
From What?: Sinister
Played by: Nick King
Scary or sexy: Scary
His Goal: Infecting a child so that he/she kills their whole family, then he abducts the child.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

NUMBER FIVE

Constantine

“Word is you’re on your way down. Fresh meat. Finger lickin’ good.”

Name: Balthazar
From What?: Constantine
Played by: Gavin Rossdale
Scary or sexy: Sexy (at least until John melts his skin with holy water)
His Goal: The usual demon stuff, plus mess with John as much as he can
Alive at the end?: Yes, but is sent back to hell.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

NUMBER FOUR

Buffy

“You don’t know how to kill this thing?”
“I thought I might try violence.”

Name: Der Kindestod
From What?: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Played by: James Jude Courtney
Scary or sexy: Very, very scary
His Goal: Feeding on the life essence of children in a hospital.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Buffy killed it by snapping its neck.

 

NUMBER THREE

Angel

“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. That was… you were so… brave!”
“You think you could say that again without so much shock in your voice? You’re stepping on my moment of manliness here.”
Name: Doyle
From What?: Angel
Played by: Glenn Quinn
Scary or sexy: Sexy (until the demon comes out)
His Goal: To help Angel save people using his visions from the “powers-that-be”.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: He sacrifices himself to turn off a device that would kill a lot of humans (and I cried like a baby).

NUMBER TWO
Conjuring 2
“Your name gives me dominion over you, demon, and I do know your name! You are Valak! The defiler! The profane, the marquis of snakes! In the name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, I condemn you back to hell!”

Name: Valak
From What?: The Conjuring 2 / The Nun
Played by: Bonnie Aarons
Scary or sexy: Very, very scary. Omg, did this thing give me the absolute heeb.
His Goal: To kill Ed Warren via a haunting he’s investigating in England.
Alive at the end?: Yes, but is banished back to hell by Lorraine.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER ONE


“Easy, love. If you remember our time in Mesopotamia the way I do, you know I’m a lover, not a fighter.”

Name: Various, there are so many demons in this world, with Crowley being the most important.
From What?: Supernatural
Played by: Various, but Mark Sheppard plays Crowley
Scary or sexy: Both
His Goal: Again, various things. Crowley wants to be the King of Hell, Lilith wants to start Armageddon, etc.
Alive at the end?: Both
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?:  Those that are killed are usually done so by Sam or Dean with their special knife or gun.

And that’s it for the demons. Who (or what) are your favourites? let me know in the comments, and I’ll see you next time!

M.

Top 15 Onscreen Witches

Back in May, I posted my Top 15 Onscreen Vampires, and the response I got was good enough that I decided to continue the “series”, this time ranking witches. I’ve picked characters from all over film and tv, both male and female. For the purposes of this article, I’ve described a witch as “a human who is born with or learns magic”. I’ve included some characters who aren’t necessarily called witches (or wizards) but who have magic, and I’ve left out those characters who, despite having magic, are not now, nor have they ever been, humans, like faeries, elves, angels, demons, etc. I’ve also chosen one single character per “world”, otherwise this list would end up being a mile long.

The witches aren’t in any order except alphabetical, and, as usual, spoiler alert!! And off we go! 🙂

 

Amanda Shelton, Simply Irresistible

Amanda

“I think I’ve loved you since that first day in the market.”
“You mean the day I had my hand up your pants? Men are so easy.”

Played by: Sarah Michelle Gellar
Born in: New York City, date unknown but the movie takes place in modern times.
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Good
Powers: With the help of a magical crab (yup, you read that right), Amanda becomes an extraordinary chef whose emotions go into her food, causing anything from laughter to tears to even floating on the ceiling.
Weaknesses: None but her own self-confidence (or lack thereof, rather).
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Bathsheba Sherman, The Conjuring

Bathsheeba

“She ran out to that tree by the dock, climbed up, proclaimed her love to Satan, cursed anyone who tried to take her land, and hung herself. Time of death was pronounced at 3:07 in the morning.”

Played by: Joseph Bishara
Born in: Rhode Island, 1812
Scary or sexy: Scary
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Telekinesis and possession of others
Weaknesses: Holy objects, exorcism and love.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Exorcised out of Carolyn by Ed.

 

Bavmorda, Willow

Bavmorda

“Why is it with my powers and the strength of my great army you cannot so much as find one… little… child?”

Played by: Jean Marsh
Born in: Nockmaar, date unknown
Scary or sexy: Scary (Jean Marsh is a handsome woman, but her character doesn’t stay attractive for very long).
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: All kinds of dark magic, from curses to transmogrification.
Weaknesses: Arrogance, white magic and lightning
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Willow tricks her into thinking he’s made little Elora disappear, and when she rushes towards him she knocks over all the components of her spell and is struck by lightning at the same time, sending her to the Netherworld she was planning on sending Elora to.

 

Gandalf, The Lord of the Rings trilogy / The Hobbit trilogy

Gandalf

“Never put it on, for then the agents of the Dark Lord will be drawn to its power. Always remember, Frodo, the Ring is trying to get back to its master. It wants to be found.”

Played by: Ian McKellan
Born in: I’m sure it’s mentioned somewhere when and where Gandalf was born, but in the interest of saving time, let’s just say he was born in Middle Earth, and leave it at that :-p
Scary or sexy: Neither, actually, but Sir Ian does cut a proud figure.
Good or evil: Good
Powers: Ability to conjure and control fire, control over water, spells and blessings, causing explosive blasts, conjure lightning, foresight abilities, some telepathic power, and the ability to communicate with animals.
Weaknesses: Trust in the wrong people, the Ring
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Hermione Granger (and pretty much everyone else in the series), Harry Potter octology
(*can I patent that word? I likes it! hehe)

Hermione

“No, Harry. Even in the wizarding world, hearing voices isn’t a good sign.”

Played by: Emma Watson
Born in: England, 1979
Scary or sexy: Sexy (once she came of age, naturally :-p )
Good or evil: Good
Powers: She can do almost anything by flicking her wand, brewing a potion, or hopping on a broomstick.
Weaknesses: Endless curiosity that could get her into trouble, habit of being a know-it-all, Ron Weasley.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

The Horned King, The Black Cauldron

Horned King

“Soon the Black Cauldron will be mine. Its evil power will course through my veins, and I shall make you Cauldron-born! Yes, yes. Oh, yes! Then you will worship me! Me! Oh, my soldiers. How long I have thirsted to be a god among mortal men.”

Played by: John Hurt
Born in: Prydain, date unknown
Scary or sexy: Scary
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Necromancy, all manners of dark magic
Weaknesses: Love and sacrifice, the Black Cauldron
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: When Gurgi sacrificed himself by jumping into the Cauldron, all of the Cauldron-born are sucked back into it, dragging the Horned King in with them.

 

Jareth, Labyrinth

Jareth

“I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave!”

Played by: David Bowie
Born in: Unknown
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Evil(ish)
Powers: Shape-shifting, slowing and speeding up time, master of illusions, some clairvoyance through his crystals, the ability to conjure things from nothing.
Weaknesses: Arrogance, Sarah
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Lamia, Stardust

Lamia

“You shall not see the star, touch it, smell or hear it. You will not perceive her even if she stands before you. Pray you never meet me again.”

Played by: Michelle Pfeiffer
Born in: Kingdom of Stormhold, date unknown but she and her sisters are described as ‘centuries old’.
Scary or sexy: Both
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Pretty much anything, from transfiguration to conjuration and the animation of dead bodies.
Weaknesses: Love
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: With Tristan in her arms, Yvaine lets her love for him shine, and her pure light disintegrates Lamia.

 

Melisandre, Game of Thrones

Melisandre

“Death is coming for everyone and everything. A darkness that will swallow the dawn.”

Played by: Carice van Houten
Born in: Asshai, year unknown
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: I think the character was meant to be more ambiguous than straight good or evil, but mo matter what good comes from helping Stannis is deeply over-shadowed by the horrible things she does. In her case, the ends don’t justify the means, and burning folks alive is just plain evil.
Powers: Clairvoyance, dark magic, giving “birth” to shadow demons, immunity to (at least some) poisons.
Weaknesses: Arrogance, religious fanaticism
Alive at the end?: As of where I am in the show (end of season 3), yes. I’ve read all the books, but I won’t spoil it for those who haven’t read yet, or who are waiting after the show.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Merlin, various films and tv shows

Merlin

“I’m gone, but then, I’m not gone. So if I do leave, you can never be sure that I am gone, can you?”

Played by: Various actors, including Karl Swenson, Sam Neill, Joseph Fiennes, and Colin Morgan
Born in: England, date unknown
Scary or sexy: He’s not scary, but usually he’s portrayed as an old man, so he’s not really sexy either.
Good or evil: Good
Powers: Various or none, depending which movie or show you’re watching, but they can range from everything from transforming himself into animals, to casting illusions, and much more.
Weaknesses: Again depends on the film, but he’s often shown as having had trusted the wrong people, and is betrayed.
Alive at the end?: In everything I’ve seen him in, yes.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Winifred Sanderson (and her sisters), Hocus Pocus

Sanderson sisters

“My ungodly book speaks to you. On All Hallow’s Eve, when the moon is round, a virgin will summon us from under the ground. We shall be back, and the lives of all the children of Salem will be mine!”

Played by: Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy
Born in: Salem. They were executed in 1693, but it’s unclear how long they’d been alive before then. I’m assuming a lot.
Scary or sexy: Neither. They’re pretty funny-looking, actually.
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Various dark magic spells, including transforming children into animals, cursing hundreds of people at once, and sucking out the life-force of children to keep their youth.
Weaknesses: Hanging, fire, holy ground
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: While trying to suck out Max’s essence, the witches accidentally end up on hallowed ground, and the first rays of dawn’s light disintegrates them.

 

Sally and Gillian Owens, Practical Magic

Sally & Gillian

“Witch! Witch! You’re a bitch! Witch! Witch! You’re a bitch!”
“You’d think after three hundred years they’d come up with a better rhyme!”

Played by: Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman
Born in: The States (not sure which one), exact date unknown, but I imagine it was some time in the 70’s.
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Good
Powers: Love spells, healing spells, some clairvoyance, and many other spells.
Weaknesses: A long standing family curse that any man who loves an Owens woman will die young.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Ursula, The Little Mermaid

Ursula

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no! I can’t stand it! It’s too easy! The child is in love with a human! And not just any human. A prince! [laughs] Her daddy’ll love that. King Triton’s headstrong, lovesick girl would make a charming addition to my little garden.

Played by: Pat Carroll
Born in: Atlantica, year unknown
Scary or sexy: Scary
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Various dark spells, the ability to turn merfolk (including herself) into humans (or better looking merfolk), able to see whatever her familiars see, no matter the distance.
Weaknesses: None save arrogance, and, I guess, being impaled :-p
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: After growing to an enormous size, Eric is able to steer the ship right towards her, and the broken mast goes right through her breast as she’s struck by lightning. She wraps her huge tentacles around the broken ship, and sinks to the ocean floor, dead.

 

The Warlock, Warlock and Warlock: The Armageddon

Warlock

“Of all the curiosities here I’ve seen, none have surprised me more than this.”

Played by: Julian Sands
Born in: Boston, year unknown (he was slated to be executed in 1691 when he escaped to the present time, but it’s unknown how old her really is).
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Dark curses, flight, jumping through time, and more.
Weaknesses: Nails pounded into his foot prints, salt
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Kassandra injects him full of salt water, and he bursts into flames. He is reborn in the sequel, but is vanquished again, this time being stabbed by a knife made from the same material as the Holy Grail.

 

Willow Rosenberg, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Willow

“I’ll give Xander a call. What’s his number? Oh yeah, 1-800-I’m-Dating-A-Skanky-Ho.”
“Meow!”
“Really? Thanks! I’ve never gotten a ‘meow’ before.”

Played by: Alyson Hannigan
Born in: Sunnydale California, 1981
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Good (except for a handful of episodes in season 6)
Powers: Pretty much everything one can think of.
Weaknesses: Addiction to the magics, fear of going bad again, Tara
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

And here, a few honourable mentions:

The Grand High Witch (The Witches)
Sarah and Nancy (The Craft)
Mombi (Return to Oz)
Lady van Tassell (Sleepy Hollow)
Aleesa (Silent Hill)
Claudia Hoffman (Snow White: A Tale of Terror)
Yzma (The Emperor’s New Groove)

And that’s my witchy list!! Which witch is your favourite? Let me know in the comments, and stay tuned for more! 🙂

M.

Teen Heartthrobs – Then and Now, part 2

A few months ago, I made a post about some of my favourite “heartthrobs” from the 80’s and 90’s (which is still one of my most viewed posts!! Woo! hehe). I’d promised way back then that I would continue the post to add all those that I’d forgotten, and then I just got side-tracked with other stuff. But I’m ready to take on part 2 now, so without any further ado, let’s get this show on the road!

 

Vincent Kartheiser

I first saw Vincent in such teen films as Alaska, Masterminds, Strike! (also called All I Wanna Do), and Crime + Punishment in Suburbia, as well, of course, as Connor in the great vampire show Angel. Quite effeminate, he’s definitely not for everyone’s tastes, but I’ve always liked the little girly boys, so I fell in love with him on first sight.

So what’s he up to now?
Vincent Kartheiser now

While he never really stopped working after Angel ended in 2004, his roles were either small, voice overs, or in relatively unknown works. But he became well known again after landing his role as Pete Campbell in the 60’s drama Mad Men, which is still on now. He also has two films in production, a short called Winter Light, and a drama called Day Out of Days, with Melanie Griffith.

 

Skeet Ulrich

After a few bit parts between 1989 and 1994, Skeet finally got his big break in the teen horror flicks The Craft and Scream, both out in 1996. But then, after a small role in the Jack Nicholson film As Good As It Gets in 1997, he kind of slid off the grid. He got steady work, but nothing really big.

So what’s he up to now?
Skeet Ulrich now

The only thing he’s done of any real consequence is the post-apocalyptic drama Jericho that ran from 2006 to 2008. He also did a season of one of the zillion Law & Order spinoffs in 2011. As of right now, he’s got two TV movies in production, as well as a dramady called Lost in Austin.

 

Ryan Phillippe

After a few small roles on TV and film, Ryan got his big break in the 1996 drama White Squall, with Jeff Bridges. After that role, he got a crap-ton of work, mostly in teen and young adult fare like Nowhere, I Know What You Did Last Summer, 54, and Cruel Intentions, which is probably his most famous role.

So what’s he up to now?
Ryan Phillippe now

He never stopped working after Cruel Intentions, but I have never heard of any of the stuff he’s been in, all the way till The Lincoln Lawyer with Matthew McConnaughey in 2011. He’s currently got two films in production, and looks like he’ll be trying his luck on the small screen. He’s working on a pilot for a mystery show called Secrets & Lies with Juliette Lewis.

 

Robert Sean Leonard

The first time I saw Robert was in Swing Kids. We watched it in history class while I was in high school. I liked him so much that I went on to find more of his movies, going all the way back to his first starring role in 1987’s My Best Friend is a Vampire, which is indeed as silly as it sounds, and it’s awesome! hehe He also had notable roles in Dead Poets Society (don’t forget the kleenex for this one), Much Ado About Nothing, and Killer: A Journal of Murder.

So what’s he up to now?
Robert Sean Leonard now

He worked steadily till 1998, and then roles started to come much less frequently. But then, in 2004, he hit the small screen jackpot, landing the role of Dr James Wilson on the medical drama House, which ran eight seasons. This year he joined the cast of the sci-fi show Falling Skies, which is in its fourth season.

 

River Phoenix

The first film that really made me notice River Phoenix was Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (which is still my favourite of the franchise). He wasn’t in the film for very long, as he was playing the young Indy, but he was memorable. He started acting when he was 12, and soon showed that he was very talented, blowing everyone away with his role in Stand By Me, among others. He even got an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor for his work in My Own Private Idaho, which he should have won. He worked on 1 to 4 projects a year, until 1993.

So what’s he up to now?
River Phoenix

Unfortunately, River’s addictions got the better of him, and in the wee hours of the morning on October 31, 1993, he collapsed outside of the Los Angeles nightclub The Viper Room (partially owned at that time by Johnny Depp, who was a good friend of River’s). He was pronounced dead at 1:51AM, at Cedars-Sinai hospital. The official cause of death was “heart failure due to acute multiple drug intoxication”. He was only 23.

 

Noah Hathaway

After making a bunch of commercials (he started when he was three), he finally broke through and got his first real acting job at the age of 7 in the sci-fi show Battlestar Galactica. After doing that show for two years, he got few other small roles, mostly TV guest spots, until he struck gold in 1984, when he won the role of Atreyu in the classic The NeverEnding Story. He worked steadily for the next two years (most notably in the weird fantasy flick Troll, where he played a character called *gasp!* Harry Potter!!), but he was never able to recapture the success that he had with The NeverEnding Story.

So what’s he up to now?
Noah Hathaway now

He stopped acting completely in 1986, only taking one role in 1996. He opened a dance studio for a while, but stopped after an injury. He went on to get a black belt in Kempo Karate and did some competitions. He married, and later he and his wife opened a shop in California building and fixing “chopper” motorcycles. He occasionally still does appearances in fan expos and conventions. He’s recently decided to give acting another try, doing one project a year since 2012, starting with the odd crime film Sushi Girl.

 

Nick Carter

Nick Carter began his career wanting to be an actor. He did lots of auditioning and landed a few commercials. He also got a bit part in Edward Scissorhands. But it was to be a music career that would rocket him to fame. In 1992, with little Nick a mere 12 years old, the Backstreet Boys are formed. In May 1993, they had their first live gig in Orlando. They recorded their first single We’ve Got It Going On a few months after that. And the rest, as they say, is history.

So what’s he up to now?
Nick Carter Now

He’s made two solo albums, both of which sold relatively well. He made a reality show called House of Carters with all 4 of his siblings. It only lasted one season. He was recently back on tour with the Backstreet Boys for a reunion tour for them along with the New Kids on the Block. This year, he recorded a duet album with Jordan Knight (from NKOTB), called Nick & Knight, and they’re due to start touring in September.

 

Nicholas Brendon

Nicholas won my heart the second I saw him, way back in 1997, in season 1 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And it really was the best episode for me to see first. It was the Xander-centric episode The Pack, where he and four bullies are possessed by evil hyena spirits. And of course I’ve been hooked ever since (to both Buffy and Nicky, hehe).

So what’s he up to now?
Nicholas Brendon now

While he’s never been able to recreate the success he had during Buffy‘s seven year run, he’s always kept busy. He’s done voice-over work for video games (mostly Buffy games), and tons of guest spots on various TV shows. Then, in 2007, he got a permanent spot (albeit a small one) on the FBI drama Criminal Minds, as Penelope Garcia’s boyfriend, fellow FBI hacker Kevin Lynch. He’s trying his luck on the big screen again (past efforts are better left untalked about) with the thriller Indigo. There’s also a TV show in the works with a 2015 release date called Chainsaw Sally, which looks to be a horror comedy, starring a few other actors known for horror and fantasy, including Debbie Rochon and Tristan Risk.

 

Jason & Jeremy London

I may be cheating a little here, but really, you can’t talk about one London brother and not the other. While Jason made his name on the big screen with his iconic role as Randall ‘Pink’ Floyd in Dazed and Confused, Jeremy mostly stuck to the small screen, making many guest appearances in all genres of show, and his most known role, that of Griffin Holbrooke on the drama Party of Five, which ran for 6 years, 5 of which Jeremy was in. He didn’t make that many jumps to the big screen, but his most famous movie role is Mallrats, which, I kid you not, I’d always thought was Jason in the role! I found out it was actually Jeremy literally two seconds ago. Way to go, me. But while he wasn’t in that particular film, Jason was in many others, including Man in the Moon, Blood Ties, and the fabulous To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar. After Party of Five ended in 2002, Jeremy floundered about for two years, until he got a recurring role on the drama 7th Heaven, which lasted two years.

So what are they up to now?
Jason & Jeremy London Now

Both of them have tons of projects in their film-and-tv-ographies, Jason a ton and a half, but I can recognize literally about 1 out of 12 titles, and even less titles that I’ve actually seen. Most recently, Jason has a small role in the crime drama Untold, and Jeremy was in a sci-fi show called Dark Rising: Warrior of Worlds, neither of which I knew existed. On the horizon, Jeremy has nine projects (one movie completed, seven in post-production, and one merely announced), Jason has seven (two completed, four in post-production, and one currently filming). And out of all these, there’s only one that looks even remotely interesting, a TV show inspired by the story of Jack the Ripper called 7 Faces of Jack the Ripper. I’m not sure how good it’ll be, if it’s good at all, cause the acting in the trailer is pretty atrocious…

 

Ethan Embry

Ethan has an oddball look (and personality to match), but I always thought it was a charming oddball look. If I’m not mistaken, the first time I saw him was in Empire Records, which was, and remains, the teen film to top all teen films. But that, in 1995, was hardly his first rodeo, having done 10 projects before it (none that I’ve actually heard of, but that’s besides the point). After that, his popularity sky-rocketed, and he made two, three, sometimes up to six projects a year till 2003. First, teen films (White Squall, That Thing You Do!, Can’t Hardly Wait, and Disturbing Behaviour), and then more adult roles more suited to his age. Most of his work after 1998 is on TV, either as a show regular, as in the detective drama Dragnet, or as a guest star, of which he did many.

So what’s he up to now?
Ethan Embry Now

Ethan never stopped working, but looking through the list of projects (both TV and film), I only recognize a few names, and even the ones I recognized I haven’t seen. I think the only thing I’ve seen him in recently(ish) is Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, in which he only had a small part. He was a regular in season 2 of the fantasy show Once Upon a Time (which I find boring as heck, but anyways..). He’s got four projects on the way, two completed, one in post-production, and one in pre-production.

And that’s all she wrote!! And in this case, she’s me. I’m the she, and that’s all I wrote. I’m finished, is what I’m saying here :-p

Enjoy my list? Who were your favourite teen heartthrobs? Let me know in the comments!! 🙂

M.

Top 15 Onscreen Vampires

Before I do any big list-like post, I always sit and jot down in my notebook the things (in this case, vampires) that will be in the list, and what order they’ll be in, if any. And then I go Google hunting for the pictures that will be in the post, and do the editing, if needed. This step (especially for edited pictures, like there’ll be in this post) is long, so I’ll often do the post itself on another day. So anyways, I got my notebook and started to write the names of my favourite movie and tv vampires. Once I was done, I counted and groaned. 18. This was supposed to be a top 10 list, not top 18! And I’m a little OCD about certain things, so I can’t have a top 18. I just can’t. So I had three choices. Cut 8 for a top 10, cut 3 for a top 15, or add two for a top 20. There was no way I was going to be able to choose 8 characters to delete, and top 20 would just take much too long to do, so I decided to do a top 15. Since there’s no need for an explanation for what this post is about, let’s get right to it. Oh, and there’s no order except for the order they’re in in my pictures folder, so, alphabetical. Also, spoiler alert! Onwards!!

 

Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Angel

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“I wanna help because I don’t think people should suffer as they do. Because, if there’s no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world”

Played by: David Boreanaz
Real name: Liam (unknown last name)
Born in: Ireland
Age when introduced: 242
Scary or sexy: Both! He’s gorgeous as a man, but his vampire face is demonic.
Good or evil: Good. Though he becomes evil in Buffy‘s season 2 after loosing his soul (and then again in a few episodes of Angel), he always gets it back.
Powers: Extra strength and stamina, awesome fighting skills, fast healing, smoldering bedroom eyes (what? It’s a power!)
Effects of sunlight: Angel go poof
Ways he can die: Stake in the heart, fire, decapitation, sunlight
Alive at the end?: Yes (I’m not counting the comics, but even if I were, he’s still alive as of the last one I read.)
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Damon Salvatore, The Vampire Diaries

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“I like this. You… walking on egg shells around me because you think I’m going to explode. It’s very suspensable. Is Elena worried too? I bet I’m your every conversation.”

Played by: Ian Somerhalder
Real name: Damon Salvatore
Born in: Mystic Falls, a fictional town in Virginia
Age when introduced: 169
Scary or sexy: Sexy. So very sexy. His vampire face is slightly creepy (black demon eyes and dark veins under the eyes), but not enough to make him ugly.
Good or evil: Both. When we first meet him, he’s definitely evil and has no qualms about killing people. But the longer he stays with his brother Stefan and the girl they both love, Elena, he slowly becomes good. He’s such a great, complicated character.
Powers: Extra strength and stamina, fast healing, mind control (glamour), super speed, enhanced senses
Effects of sunlight: He has a ring that allows him to go out into the sun, but if he didn’t have it on, he would burn.
Ways he can die: Stake in the heart, fire, decapitation, sunlight, incredibly severe trauma (if there’s no blood around to help them heal)
Alive at the end?: Unknown, not only because the show is still on, so we won’t know the answer till the end of the series, but also because I’m STILL in season 2. I know, I know, but I have soooo much to watch! Waaaaah!
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

David Van Etten, The Lost Boys / Lost Boys: The Tribe

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“Now you know what we are, now you know what you are. You’ll never grow old, Michael, and you’ll never die. But you must feed!”

Played by: Keifer Sutherland (The Lost Boys), Tom Savini (Lost Boys: The Tribe)
Real name: David Van Etten
Born in: unknown
Age when introduced: unknown, but at least 100, since he remembers stuff from the early 1900’s
Scary or sexy: Sexy. His vampire face is the same as his human face, just with fangs and red and yellow eyes.
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Flight, slight mind control, super strength
Effects of sunlight: David go bbq
Ways he can die: Stake in the heart, sunlight, being completely submersed in holy water
Alive at the end?: No. Although he’s apparently in the sequel (made 20 years later), so I guess that means he somehow survived? I dunno, I haven’t seen it. It looks like a giant turd. But I figured I might be called out if I ignored it, so here it is :-p
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: Michael impaled him on a pair of long, sharp antlers.

 

Deacon Frost, Blade

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“Maybe it’s time we forgot about discretion. We should be ruling the humans, not running around making back ally treaties with them. For fucks sake, these people are our food, not our allies.”

Played by: Stephen Dorff
Real name: Deacon Frost
Born in: Germany (according to the comics, it’s not mentioned in the film)
Age when introduced: unknown
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Super strength, fast healing, able to regrow severed body parts (except the head)
Effects of sunlight: Deacon go bbq (but he can go out for a while in a ridiculous amount of sun block)
Ways he can die: Stake in the heart, sunlight, EDTA injections, decapitation
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: Blade injected him multiple times with the EDTA and he ballooned out and exploded. Yum.

 

Dracula, various films (read various as “a crap ton of”)

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“You cannot imagine what I’ve had to endure. I have borne the very wrath of God, chosen to suffer like no man before.”

Played by: A legion of actors, including Gary Oldman, Bela Lugosi, Gerard Butler, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Christopher Lee, Rudolf Martin, Frank Langella, and Richard Roxburgh
Real name: Various, including Vlad Tepes, Count Dracula, and Judas Iscariot
Born in: Various
Age when introduced: Various
Scary or sexy: He’s been both more times than is countable, sometimes in the same film even.
Good or evil: Usually evil, but he’s been good (or at least not completely evil) a few times.
Powers: Various, depending on the film, including mind control, telepathy, the ability to transform into animals (most commonly wolves and/or bats), power over the weather and flight.
Effects of sunlight: Ranging from nothing to being burned to a crisp, depending on the movie.
Ways he can die: Stake through the heart, decapitation, sunlight, fire
Alive at the end?: Almost never, and yet, since he keeps coming back, almost always.
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: Various, but often by staking and decapitation or sunlight. Killed often by Van Helsing.

 

Eric Northman, True Blood

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“Your blood tastes like freedom, Sookie. Like sunshine in a pretty blond bottle. You may not know it yet, but that’s what vampires smell when they smell you.”

Played by: Alexander Skarsgård
Real name: Eric the Norseman
Born in: It’s never said exactly where he’s from, but he was a Viking and speaks Swedish, so I’m going to assume he comes from there.
Age when introduced: The exact number is never said, but he’s over 1000 years old.
Scary or sexy: Sexy. Very, very sexy (even though I’m pissed that they cut his hair. He’s a Viking for fucks sake, and hadn’t cut his hair in over 1000 years. Why would he start now??)
Good or evil: Ambiguous. He’s obviously killed a lot of people in his time, and yet it’s impossible to think of him as a villain.
Powers: Mind control (glamouring), super speed, super strength, fast healing (almost instantaneous if he drinks blood)
Effects of sunlight: Eric go bbq
Ways he can die: Stake in the heart, sunlight
Alive at the end?: As of the last episode I saw (last of season 5), yes.
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Henry Fitzroy, Blood Ties

Henry Fitzroy

“When you turn, you don’t see people anymore. You see prey. I spent a long time learning to control my impulses. But I’m not human, Vicki. And every once in a while, somebody’s gotta die.”

Played by: Kyle Schmid
Real name: Henry FitzRoy, Duke of Richmond and Somerset
Born in: England
Age when introduced: 487
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Good. He doesn’t need to kill to feed, so he (usually) doesn’t.
Powers: Mind control (glamour), super speed, super strength, fast healing
Effects of sunlight: Henry go bbq
Ways he can die: Stake in the heart, sunlight, severe blood loss
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Jasper Hale, The Twilight Saga

Jasper Hale

“I vote yes. It would be nice not to want to kill you all the time.”

Played by: Jackson Rathbone
Real name: Jasper Whitlock
Born in: Texas
Age when introduced: 145
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Good. He started out bad, but once he was “rescued” by Alice, he became good. Jasper is easily the most interesting character in Twilight, his story would have made for much better films. Too bad he became such a tiny part of the movies.
Powers:  super speed, super strength, mood control (which has to be the coolest power ever when you really think about it. No matter who you’re up against, no matter what their power is, all he has to do is change their mood and make them happy, or sorry, or forgetful, or anything, really. Too bad they didn’t exploit it).
Effects of sunlight: No adverse effects, but their skin shines like diamonds in the direct sunlight.
Ways he can die: Decapitation, fire
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Jerry Dandridge, Fright Night (1985 & 2011)

Jerry Dandridge

“You don’t have to be afraid of me. I know what it’s like being different. Only they won’t pick on you anymore… or beat you up. I’ll see to that. All you have to do is take my hand.”

Played by: Chris Sarandon (1985), Colin Farrell (2011)
Real name: Jerry Dandridge
Born in: unknown
Age when introduced: unknown
Scary or sexy: Both. In man form he’s gorgeous, but his vampire face is hideous.
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Hypnotic eyes, mind control, ability to turn to a huge bat or wolf, flight, super strength
Effects of sunlight: Jerry go bbq
Ways he can die: Stake in the heart, sunlight
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: After a tense battle between him, Charley and Peter Vincent, Charley is finally able to corner him and the pair break the blacked out windows until Jerry fries in the sun.

 

Lestat de Lioncourt, Interview with the Vampire / Queen of the Damned

Lestat de Lioncourt

“Evil is a point of view. God kills indiscriminately. And so shall we.”

Played by: Tom Cruise (Interview with the Vampire), Stuart Townsend (Queen of the Damned)
Real name: Lestat de Lioncourt
Born in: France
Age when introduced: 203
Scary or sexy: Sexy (well, Stuart Townsend’s Lestat was sexy, Tom Cruise’s was… well… Tom Cruise. He did an awesome job with the role, but I personally don’t find him sexy).
Good or evil: Ambiguous. He kills to feed, but he often kills evil-doers (“Evildoers are easier, and they taste better“)
Powers: Flight, telepathy, super strength, super speed
Effects of sunlight: Sunlight would kill him until he drank Akasha’s blood in Queen of the Damned, and her ancient blood allowed him to go out in the sun.
Ways he can die: Decapitation, sunlight, fire
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Nicolas Knight, Forever Knight

Nicolas Knight

“I learned that I have to live with the choice I made 800 years ago, and that forgiveness is not something you ask for, it’s something that you earn. Here, among the living.”

Played by: Geraint Wyn Davies
Real name: Nicolas de Brabant
Born in: France
Age when introduced: 802
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Trying really hard to be good, but…
Powers: Infra-red vision, enhanced hearing, super strength, super speed, flight, fast healing, immunity to cold
Effects of sunlight: Nicolas go bbq
Ways he can die: Stake in the heart, sunlight, fire, decapitation
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: Staked in the heart by LaCroix

 

Radu Vladislas, Subspecies series

Radu

“Your blood grows bitter. Soon, you’ll be mine completely.”

Played by: Anders Hove
Real name: Radu Vladislas
Born in: Romania
Age when introduced: Unknown, but he’s described as being “centuries old”.
Scary or sexy: Scary
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: Hypnotism, his blood can create mini-demons (the Subspecies)
Effects of sunlight: Radu go bbq
Ways he can die: Stake in the heart, sunlight, fire, decapitation
Alive at the end?: No. He actually “dies” at the end of each film, but is always found to be (barely) alive at the beginning of the next chapter. The fourth and final film sees him dead too, but since there are no more, I guess we’re meant to believe that he’s really gone this time.
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: He’s decapitated by Michelle and Ana, and his head is left out in the sun to burn.

 

Selene, Underworld series

Selene

“Lycans are allergic to silver. We have to get the bullets out quickly, or they end up dying on us during questioning.”
“What happens to them afterward?”
“We put the bullets back in.”

Played by: Kate Beckinsale
Real name: Selene (unknown last name)
Born in: Hungary
Age when introduced: 620
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Ambiguous. It’s never really said where the vampires get their blood from, if they feed from humans or not. She also blindly follows her masters orders, which means she’s killed many Lycans that may have been innocent of wrong doing.
Powers: Super speed, strength, stamina and agility, weapon mastery, able to jump crazy distances and fall from great heights without being hurt
Effects of sunlight: Selene go bbq (until the last film, apparently, but I haven’t seen that one yet)
Ways she can die: Sunlight, decapitation
Alive at the end?: After the first two films (the only ones I’ve seen), yes.
If not, how did she bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Severen, Near Dark

Severen

“Howdy. I’m gonna separate your head from your shoulders. Hope you don’t mind none.”

Played by: Bill Paxton
Real name: Severen (last name unknown)
Born in: unknown
Age when introduced: unknown
Scary or sexy: Sexy
Good or evil: Evil
Powers: None
Effects of sunlight: Severen go bbq
Ways he can die: Sunlight, fire
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: Caleb runs him over with his truck, then when that fails and Severen has crawled up onto the truck’s hood, Caleb jackknifes the truck and jumps out to safety just as the truck, and Severen, gets blown up.

 

Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Angel

Spike

“Yeah, I did a couple o’ Slayers in my time. I don’t like to brag. [laughs] Who am I kidding? I love to brag!”

Played by: James Marsters
Real name: William
Born in: London
Age when introduced: 145
Scary or sexy: Both. His human face is super hot, but his vampire face is demonic.
Good or evil: Both. He starts out evil, but through loving Buffy and eventually getting his soul back, he becomes a good man.
Powers: Super strength, fast healing, awesome fighting skills
Effects of sunlight: Spike go poof
Ways he can die: Stake in the heart, decapitation, sunlight, fire
Alive at the end?: Yes (though he died at the end of Buffy, he was resurrected in season 5 of Angel through the amulet he wore when he died).
If not, how did he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

Honourable mentions:
Zachary Simms (Love Bites)
Barnabus Collins (Dark Shadows)
Jeremy Cappello (My Best Friend is a Vampire)
Goodie (Vamps)
Jessica (True Blood)
Drusilla (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Luther (Supernatural)

And that’s my list! Agree? Disagree? Who are your favourite fanged friends? Let me know! 🙂

M.

Words to Live By (aka, How to Survive a Horror Movie)

Sometimes while watching a horror movie, you just have to roll your eyes at some of the choices that the characters make, or even yell at them and throw popcorn at the screen. So many horror movie deaths could have been avoided if the characters had just followed these simple rules.

 

1- If you come across a restless spirit, you need to put it to rest. Throw salt over its bones and then burn them to make sure it can’t come back.

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2- If you’ve watched a cursed videotape, just make a copy and pass it on to someone else.

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3- If someone offers you “wine” in a bejeweled bottle, don’t drink it.

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4- A scary, abandoned building that’s supposedly haunted with murderous spirits is not a good place for a party or romantic interlude.

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5- The clown in the sewer is NOT your friend.

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6- Don’t. Read. The fucking. Latin.

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7- Making a deal with the devil or a demon will always bite you in the ass. Always. Just say no.

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8- If you find two feral children in the woods, just leave them there.

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9- If your house is constantly trying to kill you, get the fuck out!

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10- Don’t buy dolls. Of any kind. Just don’t do it.

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11- Stop after the fourth “Candyman” (or second “Bloody Mary”). Don’t mess with that shit.

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12- A Ouija board is not a cute, harmless toy to give your kids.

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13- Stay out of the basement.

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14- Don’t play with hypnotism. You never know who, or what, will hitch a ride back.

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15- Playing God is a bad idea.

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16- Testing dangerous, new, untried experiments on yourself is a really bad idea.

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17- And, finally, whatever you do, don’t.. fall.. asleep.

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Follow these rules, and you should live to see another day!! 😀

M.

Monstrous Couples

So, I know I’m late. I was planning on doing this post on Valentine’s day, but then I didn’t and I kept putting it off, lazing about, but I’ve decided I’m in the mood to do it now, so better late than never, I suppose, hehe.

I can’t honestly say Valentine’s day is a huge thing for me. My husband will usually bring me flowers or chocolate, or maybe we’ll go out for dinner (or order in if I’m not well enough to go out), but that’s as far as it goes, and we don’t end up doing anything I’m not overly bothered about it. That’s not to say I don’t like romance. I do. But, generally speaking, what I may find romantic isn’t necessarily what any one else would. So I’ve decided to compile a list of, shall we say, unconventional romances, both from film and tv, and maybe even books. I’ll see how this post shapes out. I’ve only got a basic idea of what I’m doing here. The actual content I’m making up on the fly. I’m going to focus on non-humans. So, no matter how dysfunctionally romantic you are, if you’re all the way human, you won’t make the list. I may include some couples with one human in it. I haven’t decided yet. But I’ll try to not make the entire list vampires, ok? hehe. Let’s get this show on the road, and see who pops up. Obviously, they’re in no particular order. And, also obviously, there will be spoilers.

 

Spike and Drusilla, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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“Do you love my insides, the parts you can’t see?”
“Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet.”

Spike (aka William the Bloody) and Drusilla were introduced in Buffy‘s season 2 as an already established couple. They blew into town looking to raise a little hell (and find a cure for the ailing Dru). They may have been soulless, murderous monsters, but they loved each other more than life itself, and had been together for over 100 years when they arrived in Sunnydale. Unfortunately, things started to go south for the pair once Dru got her strength back, and Spike was temporarily incapacitated. With Angelus back on their side, Dru got taken in by his schemes, and once all the dust settled, we find out that she left him for good. Spike and his broken heart came limping back to Sunnydale, looking for pay back. He found a whole lot more than that, but that’s another story.

 

Mike and Celia, Monsters Inc

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“Me and you, you and me, both of us, together!!”

Just because you’re a monster, that doesn’t mean you have to be evil. There’s no better proof of this than with Mike and Celia, two of the cast of lovable monsters from the Pixar hit Monsters Inc. While getting ready for work, Mike reveals to his best friend, Sully, that “she’s the one!”, proving that even monsters can find love, no matter how green they are :-p After a horrifying evening at their favourite sushi place, Celia is ready to break things off with Mike for good, but once she realizes what’s going on, she forgives him everything immediately, and does everything she can to help. You get em, Googly Bear!

 

Chucky and Tiffany, Bride of Chucky / Seed of Chucky

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“Have you got a rubber?”
“Have I got a rubber? Tiff, look at me. I’m ALL rubber.”

I’m not a fan of the Chucky films, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t include these two in this list. While they both started out completely human, some weird mojo worked after death turned them both into creepy, living dolls. Who go on to have creepy doll sex, and Tiffany to give creepy doll birth to a creepy doll kid. The first Chucky film is the only one with any genuine (although very few) scares, once Tiffany came around (in film four, I think it was), any dignity the franchise had was long gone, and the gag was played for every cheap thrill it could. Still, they love each other (only lord knows why), and that’s why they’re here.

 

R and Julie, Warm Bodies

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“There’s a lot of ways to get to know a person. Eating her dead boyfriend’s brains is one of the more unorthodox methods, but…”

So I’m kinda stretching a little here, since R and Julie aren’t a couple (yet), but this definitely deserves a spot on this list anyways. R is a zombie, but after he eats the brain of her boyfriend, he gets his memories of Julie, including the romantic feelings. The moment he sees her, his dead heart starts to slowly beat, and the world will forever change (again) because of it. How many others can say their love helped heal the world?

 

Caleb and Mae, Near Dark

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“What’ll we do now?”
“Anything we want… to the end of time.”

When Mae first meets Caleb, all she’s interested in is getting a bite. But the two have an immediate connection, and she decides to turn him into a vampire, instead of just killing him. She takes him home to meet her “family”, where he’s given an ultimatum: make a kill within the week, or you’ll be the one on the menu. At first he decides to try their life style, but after realizing that he can’t kill, he and Mae run off together, with her family in hot pursuit. Come what may, Caleb and Mae will face it together, even if it means dying together.

 

Navarre and Isabeau, Ladyhawke

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“Do you know that hawks and wolves mate for life? The Bishop didn’t even leave us that… not even that.”

Stupidly romantic, Ladyhawke is one of the most under-rated fantasy films of all time. Navarre and Isabeau are deeply in love. But the Bishop of Aquila, evil and corrupt, lusts after her as well. When his advances are spurned, he turns to the dark arts, swearing that if he can’t have her, neither will Navarre. He curses them, her to be a hawk during the day and herself at night, he to be a wolf at night and himself during the day. Always together, forever apart. The curse can only be broken if the two of them stand before the Bishop, both in human form.

 

Imhotep and Anck-Su-Namun, The Mummy / The Mummy Returns

imhotep ancksunamun

 

“Thebes, City of the Living. Crown jewel of Pharaoh Seti the First. Home of Imhotep, Pharaoh’s high priest, keeper of the dead. Birthplace of Anck Su Namun, Pharaoh’s mistress. No other man was allowed to touch her. But for their love, they were willing to risk life itself.”

Imhotep and Anck-Su-Namun are the ultimate example of “star-crossed lovers”. Being the Pharaoh’s priest, he was already forbidden to love, but to love the Pharaoh’s mistress on top of it all, you just know things will not end well for these two. To escape the Pharaoh’s clutches, the two conspire to kill him and run. Unfortunately, they got caught before they could flee. Anck-Su-Namun, confident that Imhotep will be able to resurrect her using the book of the dead, commits suicide instead of being caught by the guards. Imhotep was not so lucky, and was mummified alive, cursed for all eternity. When he’s finally able to get free of his box, his only thought is to get to the City of the Dead, Hamunaptra, where he will be able to resurrect his lover.

 

Dracula and Mina, Dracula (pick one, any one :-p )

dracula mina

 

“You are my love, and my life, always.”
“Then, I give you life eternal. Everlasting love. The power of the storm. And the beasts of the earth. Walk with me to be my loving wife, forever.”

So, of course this pair had to be on this list. It’s only the most romantic horror story of all time. I’ve chosen a picture and quote from the 1992 version, but really, any one will do. While some of the other details in the story change in each film, the core, Dracula and Mina’s love, is always the same. The small details may vary film to film, but Mina is generally the reincarnation of Dracula’s human love, from centuries ago, when he was still a human himself. When he travels to England to find her, she finds herself falling for him as well, despite the fact that she’s engaged to be married. Love transcends all, even time.

 

Eric and Shelly, The Crow

eric and shelly

 

“Little things used to mean so much to Shelly- I used to think they were kind of trivial. Believe me, nothing is trivial.”

Eric and Shelly were happy and in love, to be married on Halloween night. But, horrendously, the day before their wedding, their apartment is broken into by some dangerous and evil criminals, who rape Shelly and beat her to within an inch of her life, and, when Eric comes home to find the scene, they throw him out the window. He dies instantly on impact, but Shelly lingers in pain for 30 hours before finally succumbing. Exactly one year later, Eric Draven crawls out of his grave to deal vengeance out to those that killed him and Shelly. Once his task is complete, he collapses on Shelly’s grave, where she appears to take him home. As if the story wasn’t sad enough, actor Brandon Lee tragically died while filming the movie, when a gun being used on set was accidentally filled with real bullets instead of blanks.

 

HellBoy and Liz, HellBoy

hellboy liz

 

“In the dark I heard your voice, what did you say?”
“I said, ‘Hey, you, on the other side – let her go. Because for her I will cross over, and then you’ll be sorry!'”

I suppose a more perfect match couldn’t be made. She’s pyrokinetic, and still has some troubles controlling it. Which means having a lover who won’t get burned when you accidentally lose your shit is a very good thing. He was brought over from Hell when he was just a baby, but thankfully he fell into the kind hands of young Broom, instead of the Nazis, and was raised to be good. Broom cares for a handful of “special” humanoids, and one of them is the fiery Liz, with whom HellBoy becomes instantly smitten. After fighting back Hell itself, they finally kiss, both literally engulfed in the flames of their passion.

Honourable mentions:
Vastra and Jenny, Doctor Who
Eric and Sookie, True Blood
Michael and Selene, Underworld
Shrek and Fiona, Shrek trilogy
Edward and Bella, Twilight series (I suppose I have to at least mention them)
Jake and Neytiri, Avatar
Sam and Molly, Ghost
Jack and Sally, The Nightmare Before Christmas

Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed making it. Have a happy belated Valentines Day, all you romantic horror and fantasy fans out there!! ❤

M.

Top 15 Episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Ok, so this was supposed to be another top 10. But after paring down my list as far as it would go, I was still left with 18 titles, and was unwilling to take any more off. But, since top 18 sounds ridiculous, I (reluctantly) put 3 in “honourable mentions” and then had the joy of putting the remaining 15 in order. After literally pulling my hair out for about half an hour, I’ve done it, although I’m still not 100% sure they’re in the exact right order. But it will have to do, because I’m not starting that process over.

So, before we start, here are the 3 honourable mentions:

The Replacement – Xander gets zapped with a magical device aimed at Buffy, and wakes up alone in the dump the next morning. He goes to his apartment, and sees that a clone has taken over his life. One Xander on screen is great. Two is just gravy. Anya’s plea that she be able to take the two of them home for a while had me in stitches.

Once More, With Feeling – I keep thinking that this fun musical extravaganza needs to be on the list, and then I look at it and realize that, as awesome as this episode is, everything else on my list is just slightly better.

Something Blue – Trying to magic away her pain, Willow only ends up accidentally casting spells on all her friends instead. One of the funniest episodes, despite it’s sad reason of being.

So, without any further ado, here’s my Top 15 Episodes of Buffy!

15 – Wild at Heart

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Oz finds himself inexplicably attracted to a beautiful new student, who’s also a musician. After busting out of his cage one night, he meets another wolf, and is surprised to find himself wake with her, entwined and very much naked, the next morning. The other wolf, Veruca, wants Oz for herself, and tries to get him to see that they belong free, not locked in a cage. With more dialogue from Oz than in a lot of episodes combined, this was a poignant episode. Lots of kleenex needed here.

14 – Nightmares

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Something strange is happening in Sunnydale: everyone’s worst nightmares are happening for real. Buffy meets a quiet boy who seems to be at the center of the mystery, and they band together to try stop the phenomena, before reality collapses completely. The one and only episode where we see what Buffy would be like as a vampire.

13 – Earshot

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While fighting a mouthless demon, Buffy wounds it, and some of it’s blood is absorbed into her skin. The next day she realizes that she can hear everyone’s thoughts. What at first is a cool novelty, quickly becomes unbearable as it, at first, starts to alienate her friends, then becomes an awful racket in her head she can’t turn off. But just before she slips into total chaos, she’s able to give the others a warning: someone is planning a massacre at the school. This episode was originally supposed to air around the time of a real school shooting, purely by coincidence, but they decided to postpone it a few months. Good thing there wasn’t too much of a continuity screwup.

12 – Buffy vs Dracula

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What else to say that the title doesn’t cover? Buffy meets the infamous Count, and is, understandably, attracted to him. But that still doesn’t stop her from kicking his butt when the time comes. Xander as a Renfield type character is hilarious. Poor Xander, always getting the short end of the straw.

11 – Band Candy

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Buffy’s school is selling chocolate bars to raise money for the marching band. The chocolate seems to have an addictive quality, and soon all the adults in the town are sucking it back like crazy. And, strangely, the more they eat, the more immature they get. When Buffy goes to the factory to get to the bottom of things, it’s a teenaged Giles, with a teenaged Joyce in tow, that accompanies her. Any fan that ever shipped Giles / Joyce was very happy to see this episode. Featuring Ethan Rayne, one of my favorite recurring villains.

10 – Passion

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This was an unbelievably awful episode, and I mean that in the best way possible. Jenny buys an Orb of Thesula, hoping to be able to translate the original text to recurse Angel. Angelus finds out about it, thanks to a vision that Drusilla had, and chases Jenny through the school, after destroying both her computer and the Orb. Such a sad episode, really pushes Angelus’ evil to the very limit. What he does to Giles is so much worse than anything else he could have done.

9 – Normal Again

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After being attacked by a demon sent by Warren and the gang, Buffy has vivid hallucinations of being locked in a mental institution. So vivid, in fact, that she’s no longer sure which world is real. She decides, for a moment, that her life is Sunnydale is the dream, and goes about trying to eliminate everything, and everyone, in it. Awesome episode.

8 – The Zeppo

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This Xander-centric episode has him worrying that he’s got nothing to offer the gang, so he gets himself a beautiful new car. Which, as luck would have it, brings him nothing but trouble, as he gets in the way of campus bad boy Jack O’Toole. Sparing Xander after Xander told cops there was nothing going on, he hops in Xander’s car, and drags him around town, to get his friends. Much to Xander’s horror, Jack’s friends are all dead, and he’s raising them from their graves. And this is the beginning of Xander’s very long, very strange night. Equally funny and tense, this is a perfect showcase for the awesomeness that is Xander Harris.

7 – The Pack

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This is the very first episode of Buffy I ever saw. I didn’t even know it existed before then, since I didn’t have cable tv at home. But I was at my grandparents place, just channel surfing, when I came across this, and I was hooked right from the get go. In this episode, Xander and a group of bullies from school get possessed by hyena spirits. The mean kids act basically the same, but Xander, who’s usually so nice, starts to act just like them. Buffy knows something’s wrong, though, especially after the school mascot, a cute little piglet, is found dead, seemingly eaten alive.

6 – Halloween

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Another chaos filled evening courtesy of Ethan Rayne. It’s Halloween night and, after chanting a spell, every child and teen who bought a costume at Ethan’s shop turns into their costume. Buffy becomes a fainting 17th century lady (much to Angel and Cordelia’s chagrin), Willow becomes a (very sexy) ghost, and Xander is turned into a super soldier. Hearing Buffy’s been weakened, Spike comes looking for her.

5 – Killed By Death

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A terrible flu is going around town, and Buffy, after being knocked out during patrol, is rushed to the hospital, burning with fever. While there she encounters one of the freakiest demons in the show’s history, Der Kinderstod. Invisible to anyone who’s not feverish, Buffy purposefully makes herself sicker so she can fight him.

4 – Doppelgangland

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After doing a spell to help Anya find her pendant, an evil Willow is summoned from another dimension. Sickened that everything around her is normal and “safe”, she traps everyone in the Bronze with a group of vampires to have some fun. When she comes across the Willow from this reality, things really get fun.

3 – The Body

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Call me masochistic to have an episode like this so high on my list, but it really is one of the best episodes of the whole show. Everyone’s acting is top notch, and, needless to say, tears fall like rain. I started crying at the beginning of the show, and kept crying all the way through, even after the credits were done rolling.

2 – The Wish

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After making a seemingly innocent wish that Buffy would have never come to Sunnydale, Cordelia is stunned to find herself in world that is just that. She’s happy to find out that in this world she’s still Queen B, but her happiness is put on hold when she realizes just how many deaths there have been, including Xander and Willow’s. Deaths that had been prevented by Buffy. Going to Giles to get him to call Buffy, she encounters a vampire Xander and Willow. After a much changed Buffy arrives in Sunnydale to help with the dire situation, Giles summons the demon who granted the wish, to try get her to change the world back to the way it was.

1 – Hush

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And finally, the very best of the best, the season 4 episode Hush. After a group of fairy tale-like creatures arrives in Sunnydale, every single person in town looses their voice. The creatures stalk the night, choosing victims who have the perfect hearts they need, and cut them out of their chests. Like the last line of the poem says: “You’re gonna die screaming, but you won’t be heard”. This mostly silent episode is really a perfect piece of television. It still gives me the creeps today.

And, that wraps up my top 15 Buffy episodes. Enjoyed it? Agree? Disagree? Let me know! And stay tuned for more! 🙂

M.