Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Black Dahlia

The Black Dahlia
(2006) Josh Hartnett, Scarlett Johansson, Aaron Eckhart, Hilary Swank, Mike Starr, Fiona Shaw, and Mia Kirshner

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Halfway through the film, and I was already super disappointed by it. It’s really quite boring, and the acting is pretty shaky all round. After debating on whether or not I was going to finish it at all, I decided on not once it had gotten so boring that my eyes crossed. And, I’m not sure, but there might have been some drool. And, I know it was set in the 40’s and it was a thing, but god, so many cigarettes! It’s nauseating. If I took a shot for every cigarette lit in the first 55 minutes of this film, I’d get alcohol poisoning and die. Twice. I give it 1/10, and that’s purely for the eye candy. The film itself gets a big, fat zero.

The film isn’t currently on Netflix, but do yourself a favour: don’t bother.

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Iceman

The Iceman
(2013) Michael Shannon, Winona Ryder, Chris Evans, Ray Liotta, David Schwimmer, John Ventimiglia, James Franco, Stephen Dorff, Robert Davi, McKaley Miller, Danny A Abeckaser and Megan Sherrill

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Amazing performances saved this films’ stars. Without it, I may have had to give it a lower rating, because in some places, the tempo slowed down to almost a crawl. If the performances hadn’t been as good as they were, I probably would have gotten too bored sometime during the film, and turned it off. But Michael Shannon is such a strong actor that he was able, along with Winona Ryder, to keep even the dullest parts of the film above water. 7/10

This film is currently on Netflix, and is worth a look despite it’s slow pace. Enjoy! 

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Frozen Ground

The Frozen Ground
(2013) Nicolas Cage, John Cusack, Vanessa Hudgens, Radha Mitchell, Kevin Dunn, Kurt Fuller, 50 Cent and Jodi Lyn O’Keefe

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Pretty decent serial killer flick, if a little drawn out. The acting is a little sketchy at times, even from John Cusack, surprisingly, he’s usually so good, but never down-right bad, not enough to turn me off to the film. The fact that’s it’s a true story ups the ick factor, and I’d previously read about the case in one of my serial killer books. I’d have probably liked it more if were someone other than Nicolas Cage who was the lead, he’s not exactly the best actor out there. Little Vanessa Hudgens was doing s better than him, but anyways… :-p My score? 7/10, there’s an extra point in there just for seeing John Cusack as a serial killer.

The film is not currently on Netflix, but is well worth a watch if you can get a hold of it.

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Monster

Monster
(2003) Charlize Theron, Christina Ricci, Bruce Dern, Scott Wilson, Lee Tergesen, Annie Corley, Bubba Baker and Pruitt Taylor Vince

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It’d be such a sweet love story if it wasn’t about a serial killer. And why on earth did they cast such beautiful actresses in the leads? Ok, they did a great job of making Charlize look ugly (although, even with the prosthetics and makeup, she’s still not as ugly as the real woman was, and that’s saying something), but Christina Ricci, even in that horrid haircut, is still gorgeous. The woman she’s portraying was over weight and mannish, not good looking at all. She’s also being played as a sweet, naive little girl (which she wasn’t), and Charlize played the killer as a sad, tragic figure instead of the monster she really was. 5.5/10, and that’s just for the stellar acting. I was actually pretty bored through most of the film.

This film is currently on Netflix. But if you’re interested in the real woman’s story, her A&E Bio and even her segment in season 2 of Investigation Discovery’s Deadly Women (also on Netflix) are more interesting (and more accurate) than this film. The following video is an interview with the real killer, one day before her execution. She’s the definition of “crazy bitch”.

 

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: Hawking and Alien Planet

I missed a day (or two) of my reviews so today I’ll do two, just to catch up a bit, hehe.

Hawking
(2004) Benedict Cumberbatch, Lisa Dillon, Tom Ward, John Sessions, Peter Firth and Phoebe Nicholls

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A wonderful little film that I found quite by accident on YouTube. I was showing my husband something on Stephen Hawking when, much to my surprise and joy, I found this film starring Benedict Cumberbatch, who I absolutely adore. And he knocked it out of the park with this one. His acting was out of this world. I totally believed his performance. The film on the whole was very good, only one part was a little laggy, the rest was wonderful. A solid 8.5/10.

I’m not sure if the film is on Netflix. but here’s the whole thing from YouTube.

 

Alien Planet
(2005) John C McGinley (v.o.), Michio Kaku, Stephen Hawking, George Lucas, Wayne D Barlowe and Curtis Clark

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Pretty darn cool “what if” scenario to what we would find on an Earth-like planet, Darwin IV. Everything in the film that has to do with the travel and the planet itself is made with awesome CGI, and features “real interviews” with scientists who are working on the actual project, but who were asked to act as if the project were already under-way and successful. It’s really cool. 9.5/10, great fun.

The film is currently streaming on Netflix, and there’s a full version on YouTube.

 

Enjoy! And I’ll try to not skip any more days, hehe.

M.