Mel’s 5 Second First Impressions: Prodigal Son

Prodigal Son (2019 – )
(Season 1 cast) Tom Payne, Michael Sheen, Lou Diamond Phillips, Aurora Perrineau, Bellamy Young, Halston Sage, Frank Harts, Keiko Agena, Charlayne Woodard

First, let me get this out of the way: Tom Payne as Malcolm Bright is a stone cold fox. Got it? Good, we can move on.

8 episodes of this show have aired on Global Montreal (I imagine the same amount have aired elsewhere). I’ve seen 6 of them. And really, it’s some of the best new tv that’s played in a long time.

Payne plays an FBI profiler fired from his job, despite being the best, for being overly reckless. He goes back to his home town of NYC where he’s hired by the local police to help on some cases. He has horrible night terrors stemming from his childhood. His father, you see, was a serial killer known as “The Surgeon”, and Malcolm was very traumatised by the fact. As the episodes go on, he’s trying to separate fact from fiction, as he’s having different and more vivid dreams that he thinks may be memories.

I’ve always had a soft spot for serial killer shows, so maybe I’m a bit biased, but I love this show so far. The acting is mostly good, the stories are great, the characters are engaging, and, to no one’s surprise, Michael Sheen is electric as good old dad. I for one can’t wait to watch more, and I hope it lasts on tv for a while. They tend to can shows I like quickly, so here’s hoping that doesn’t happen this time.

M.

Mel’s 5 Second Review: The Haunting of Hill House (season 1)

The Haunting of Hill House (2018 – )
(Season 1 cast) Henry Thomas, Victoria Pedretti, Oliver Jackson-Cohen, Kate Siegel, Michiel Huisman, Carla Gugino, Elizabeth Reaser, Timothy Hutton, Lulu Wilson, Violet McGraw, Julian Hilliard, Paxton Singleton, Mckenna Grace, Annabeth Gish

I don’t think I can fairly express how much I love this show. I read the novel a quarter century ago, so the details might be fuzzy, but I remember I loved it. And while the show isn’t quite a faithful recreation of the book, it’s so good that I don’t really care. Everything is wonderful, from the acting to the effects. Netflix really let director Mike Flanagan create his vision as is, apparently sparing no expense.

The story is simple, something we’ve all seen before I’m sure. The Crain family, mom, dad, and five kids, move into a beautiful, albeit a little run-down, mansion with the intention of flipping it for a great profit. But things aren’t what they seem at Hill House, and almost immediately hijinks ensue. The story runs back and forth, from the young family to the older, where the kids are all grown up. Some people might get a little confused with all the jumping around, but I found it was done well enough that I personally didn’t have any trouble. The story may be familiar, but it has just enough intrigue, plus it’s done so well, that it really doesn’t matter.

The only thing I could possibly say about it that’s negative, is that there’s maybe a few too many monologues. The characters talk slightly oddly on occasion, like they’re part of a one-man show. But really, I’m nit-picking here. All in all, it’s a superb show, and it more than deserves the score I give it of 10/10. If you haven’t seen it, and are at all a fan of supernatural stuff, sit down and watch it. You won’t be disappointed.

M.

Top 8 Onscreen Demons

Movies featuring demons are numerous, but there’s really only a small amount of them that are good. With such a high schlock content, a lot of films about or starring demons are awful, either being boring or stupid, or even both. But when done right, they can be downright terrifying.

I’ll only be including films in which the demon has a physical body, so no possession films. I’ll do another post dedicated to that sub-genre, since there are so many. So without any further ado, let’s get this show on the road. Oh, and spoiler alert, as usual.

 

NUMBER EIGHT

 

“No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater… than central air.”

Name: Azrael
From What?: Dogma
Played by: Jason Lee
Scary or sexy: Sexy-ish (he was kinda cute back in the day, hehe)
His Goal: To negate all of existence. Apparently hell is awful.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Silent Bob killed him with a golf club that had been blessed by a priest.

 

NUMBER SEVEN

“In the dark I heard your voice, what did you say?”

“I said, ‘Hey, you, on the other side – let her go. Because for her I will cross over, and then you’ll be sorry!'”

Name: Hellboy
From What?: Hellboy
Played by: Ron Perlman
Scary or sexy: Neither, really. Liz digs it, though, hehe.
His Goal: To stop the incoming Apocalypse and save his lady love.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

NUMBER SIX

“The symbol is associated with a Pagan deity named Bughuul. He consumes the souls of human children. The ancient church believed that Bughuul actually lived in the images themselves and that they were gateways into his realm. Children exposed to these images were especially vulnerable to Bughuul’s abductions.”

Name: Bughuul
From What?: Sinister
Played by: Nick King
Scary or sexy: Scary
His Goal: Infecting a child so that he/she kills their whole family, then he abducts the child.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

NUMBER FIVE

“Word is you’re on your way down. Fresh meat. Finger lickin’ good.”

Name: Balthazar
From What?: Constantine
Played by: Gavin Rossdale
Scary or sexy: Sexy (at least until John melts his skin with holy water)
His Goal: The usual demon stuff, plus mess with John as much as he can
Alive at the end?: Yes, but is sent back to hell.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

 

NUMBER FOUR

“You don’t know how to kill this thing?”

“I thought I might try violence.”

Name: Der Kindestod
From What?: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Played by: James Jude Courtney
Scary or sexy: Very, very scary
His Goal: Feeding on the life essence of children in a hospital.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Buffy killed it by snapping its neck.

 

NUMBER THREE

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. That was… you were so… brave!”

“You think you could say that again without so much shock in your voice? You’re stepping on my moment of manliness here.”

Name: Doyle
From What?: Angel
Played by: Glenn Quinn
Scary or sexy: Sexy (until the demon comes out)
His Goal: To help Angel save people using his visions from the “powers-that-be”.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: He sacrifices himself to turn off a device that would kill a lot of humans (and I cried like a baby).

NUMBER TWO

“Your name gives me dominion over you, demon, and I do know your name! You are Valak! The defiler! The profane, the marquis of snakes! In the name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, I condemn you back to hell!”

Name: Valak
From What?: The Conjuring 2 / The Nun
Played by: Bonnie Aarons
Scary or sexy: Very, very scary. Omg, did this thing give me the absolute heeb.
His Goal: To kill Ed Warren via a haunting he’s investigating in England.
Alive at the end?: Yes, but is banished back to hell by Lorraine.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER ONE

“Easy, love. If you remember our time in Mesopotamia the way I do, you know I’m a lover, not a fighter.”

Name: Various, there are so many demons in this world, with Crowley being the most important.
From What?: Supernatural
Played by: Various, but Mark Sheppard plays Crowley
Scary or sexy: Both
His Goal: Again, various things. Crowley wants to be the King of Hell, Lilith wants to start Armageddon, etc.
Alive at the end?: Both
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?:  Those that are killed are usually done so by Sam or Dean with their special knife or gun.

And that’s it for the demons. Who (or what) are your favourites? let me know in the comments, and I’ll see you next time!

M.

Mel’s 5 Second First Impression: The Shannara Chronicles

The Shannara Chronicles (2016-present)
(Season 1 cast) Austin Butler, Poppy Drayton, Ivana Baquero, Manu Bennett, John Rhys-Davies, Aaron Jakubenko, Daniel MacPherson, Marcus Vanco, Emilia Burns, Brooke Williams, James Remar, Jed Brophy

I read about half of the first book in the series more than 12 years ago. I don’t remember much about it, nor do I know why I stopped reading it, since I was really enjoying it. I do remember enough, however, to know that this series takes place in the second generation of books. Wil, our hero, is the son of Shea, the youngster in the first books (of which there are 3, I think). I’ve recently re-bought The Sword of Shannara, and plan to read it soon, which has me wondering how much more of this show I want to watch before I do so. But for now, let’s talk about the first episode, the two-hour pilot, called Chosen.

They certainly packed a lot of info into that 2 hours (or hour and a half, once commercials are removed). There are no less than 5 characters that seem like they’re going to be important, although with already one unexpected death under their belts, it may be that this show is going to be more surprising than anticipated. Which is good. The acting is pretty good all round, if a little melodramatic at times. The effects look pretty stellar so far, the makeups on the demons are great. The only thing I’d have to say about it is that it seems to be the same old story again. There wasn’t much that happened in the show that wasn’t in The Lord of the Rings and other such titles. But, this was only the first episode. I’ll definitely continue watching, and hopefully it’ll grow it’s own two legs to stand on.

M.

Mel’s 5 Second First Impressions: Jessica Jones

Jessica Jones (2015 – )
(Season 1 cast) Krysten Ritter, Rachael Taylor, David Tennant, Mike Colter, Carrie-Anne Moss, Erin Moriarty, Eka Darville, Wil Traval, Robin Weigert

So, I didn’t want to watch this. I saw the previews, and meh. I love a lot of stuff to come out of the Marvel Universe, but the tv shows have all left me cold. But then I realized David Tennant is in it. Playing the villain, no less. So after talking to a few friends about it, I decided to finally go ahead and give it a shot. I’m 3 episodes in, and here’s what I think so far:

– My friend was right; David is much too rapey for me to find him yummy in this show.
– Unflinchingly shows what it’s like to have PTSD, hard to watch at times.
– The acting is pretty good all round, which I really wasn’t expecting from anyone save David.
– While Krysten is doing a good job in the role of Jessica, the character is a little abrasive sometimes, and hard to like or care about. I hope she changes a bit as the show goes on.
– I really hope we see cameos of other superheroes. So far we only got a mention of The Avengers (“the green guy and his crew”), I hope we get more.
– Kilgrave’s powers are so awful, especially in the hands of a psychopath. But it did make me daydream for a solid half hour at least about what I could do with power like that…

So, all in all, I did enjoy the episodes, but I’m not 100% sure that I’m going to like the show as a whole. I guess I gotta keep watching to find out!

M.

Mel’s 10 Things About… Penny Dreadful, season 2

Penny Dreadful (2014 – present)
(Season 2 Cast) Eva Green, Josh Hartnett, Timothy Dalton, Harry Treadaway, Reeve Carney, Rory Kinnear, Danny Sapani, Helen McCrory, Billie Piper, Simon Russell Beale, Sarah Greene, Douglas Hodge, Jonny Beauchamp, Hannah Tointon, Patti LuPone

{SPOILERS INCOMING}

1. Not quite as good as season 1, but still bloody excellent! This show is so good that for a while after watching it, I have trouble enjoying other stuff, cause not much is as good!
2. Kinda disappointed they started a new storyline instead of continuing the one they left off. I mean what, are the brothers politely taking turns trying to claim Vanessa?
3. Eva Green is hot. So is Josh Hartnett. Meow.
4. Mrs Poole’s dolls were creepy as hell… right up to the finale, where Vanessa was arguing with her doll. It was supposed to be tense and scary, but unfortunately came off a little silly. It’s really the only really bad thing I can say about the season, though.
5. Speaking of the finale, with each character ending up completely alone, I hope it doesn’t take half of season 3 to reunite them!
6. The whole Angelique sub-plot felt kinda tacked on for no other reason than to shock the audience. I liked her, I did, but it always felt superfluous to the rest of the story.
7. Lily’s big reveal was quite something, very unexpected. A little sad, cause the blossoming love story between her and Victor was super cute, but I suppose no one can stay happy for long in this world.
8. I’m a bit sad that Dorian, whose character I loved in season 1, went so bad so fast. I know he was never a good guy, but I dunno. I just really preferred him in season 1.
9. Loved all of Vanessa’s back story. The episode about her and her mentor was absolutely perfect, start to end.
10. Looking forward to see what Hecate will be up to next. Here’s hoping they don’t just skip to the next story again, and just leave her hanging. I need to find out if Ethan will really be turned bad. I certainly hope not.

If you haven’t seen this show and like all things macabre, then I suggest you put down whatever you’re doing and see it, now! It’s playing in several country’s Netflix, and is also playing on On Demand.

M.

Mel’s 5 Second TV Review: Penny Dreadful Season 1

Penny Dreadful (2014 – now)
Season 1 cast: Josh Hartnett, Timothy Dalton, Eva Green, Harry Treadaway, Reeve Carney, Rory Kinnear, Billie Piper, Danny Sapani, Olivia Llewellyn, Olly Alexander, David Warner, Alex Price, Alun Armstrong

So, I haven’t been keeping up to date on TV shows for a long time now. Even shows I love, like Supernatural and Doctor Who, I’ve completely slacked on. Not sure why. I still watch a lot of stuff, but it’s all documentaries and stuff like that. But slowly the fiction bug seems to be creeping back, with me watching more and more movies, and even some TV shows, like this one.

I’d been interested in it since the moment I heard of it (back when it was still in production, I did an article about teen hearthrobs, and Josh Hartnett was on the list), and I told myself I’d watch it when it came out. Of course, I didn’t. But speaking to my mother this weekend, she told me she tried to watch it, but couldn’t because it was too creepy. That immediately piqued my interest, and I just had to watch it.

Disappointingly, season 1 only has 8 episodes, but I absolutely devoured them, doing the whole thing in two sittings. I’d have done it all in one, but it was late, and I had to drive home the next day (3 hour drive), which is always hard on me. The setting and costumes are gorgeous, and the actors seemed perfectly suited for their roles. Even Josh Hartnett, who, despite his beauty, was never the best actor, has upped his game. The characters are all from classic horror, with Dr Frankenstein, Mina Harker, and a master vampire who has to be Dracula (but we still haven’t met him yet) rounding out the cast. And the story, there’s definitely no slouching in that department either, wonderfully complex yet simple at the same time. All said and done, this is, simply, a wonderful, wonderful show. 10/10. I can’t wait for season 2!

This series is currently streaming on Netflix Brazil, and is also on CraveTV. Enjoy!

M.

Top 8 Onscreen Angels

Warriors of God, beings of darkness, guardians, or agents of vengeance, angels come in all shapes and sizes. Represented well, angels make great characters. Here are my 8 favourite. Spoilers ahead.

NUMBER 8

The Crow, The Crow

“People once believed that when someone dies, a crow carries their soul to the land of the dead. But sometimes, something so bad happens that a terrible sadness is carried with it and the soul can’t rest. Then sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring that soul back to put the wrong things right.”

Played by: A raven, actually.
Scary or sexy: Neither, he’s a standard black crow.
His Goal: To bring Eric Draven back to life to avenge the brutal deaths of his fiancée and himself.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 7

Michael, Legion

“This is not your test, Michael. How dare you presume to know His heart?”
“*Putting a hand to his chest* Because He made this one. And it tells me He shouldn’t lose faith now.”

Played by: Paul Bettany
Scary or sexy: Sexy
His Goal: To save a chosen woman and her unborn baby from God’s temper tantrum.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 6

Horse, Winter’s Tale

“Don’t know who’s more foolish; The horse who won’t listen to his master or the master who listens to his horse.”

Played by: A horse, duh. (Couldn’t find the horse’s real name)
Scary or sexy: Neither, but he’s a gorgeous animal.
His Goal: To guard gold-hearted thief Peter Lake.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 5

Tyrael, Diablo III

“You cannot judge me, I am Justice itself! We were meant for more than this! To protect the innocent! But if our precious laws bind you all to inaction … then I will no longer stand as your brother.”

Played by: Jonathan Adams
Scary or sexy: Is strong and beautiful as an angel, and rugged and slightly worn out looking as a mortal.
His Goal: To bind Diablo and the other powerful demons to the black soulstone, then destroy them.
Alive at the end?: Yes
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 4

Bartleby & Loki, Dogma

“You know, here’s what I don’t get about you. You know for a fact that there is a God. You’ve been in His presence. He’s spoken to you personally. Yet I just heard you claim to be an atheist.”
“I just like to fuck with the clergy, man.”

Played by: Ben Affleck and Matt Damon
Scary or sexy: One of them is sexy, the other is Ben Affleck :-p
His Goal: To get back into Heaven, no matter the cost (which, in this case, is negating all existence).
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Loki is killed by Bartleby stabbing him after cutting his wings off (making him human), and Bartleby, after having his own wings shot off, is killed by God’s voice.

NUMBER 3

Gabriel, The Prophecy

“I’m an angel. I kill firstborns while their mamas watch. I turn cities into salt. I even, when I feel like it, rip the souls from little girls, and from now till kingdom come, the only thing you can count on in your existence is never understanding why.”

Played by: Christopher Walken
Scary or sexy: Scary
His Goal: To unleash a second Hell on Earth.
Alive at the end?: No
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Lucifer rips out his heart and eats it.

NUMBER 2

Gabriel, Constantine

“If sweet, sweet God loves you so, then I will make you worthy of His love. I’ve been watching for a long time. It’s only in the face of horror that you truly find your nobler selves. And you can be so noble. So, I’ll bring you pain, I’ll bring you horror, so that you may rise above it. So that those of you who survive this reign of hell on earth will be worthy of God’s love.”

Played by: Tilda Swinton
Scary or sexy: Sexy
His Goal: To bring forth the son of Lucifer and make Hell on Earth.
Alive at the end?: Yes, but is now human.
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

NUMBER 1

Castiel, Supernatural

“She rises when Lucifer walks the earth. “And she shall come, bearing false prophecy.” This creature has the power to take a human’s form, read minds. Book of Revelation calls her “the Whore of Babylon”.”
“Well, that’s catchy.”

Played by: Misha Collins
Scary or sexy: Very, very sexy!
His Goal: To help Dean and Sam Winchester in any way he can. It’s way more complicated then that, but I don’t have 3 hours to explain it :-p
Alive at the end?: Yes, then no, then yes, then no, then yes….
If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: He’s been killed by multiple angels, and the Leviathan, but always comes back somehow.

M.

Mel’s 5 Second TV Review: Wildest Series

All narrated by Paul McGann, except Africa, narrated by Andrew Lincoln

I loved this whole series. Andrew Lincoln was alright as narrator, but I’m so glad that they decided to go with Paul McGann afterwards, his voice is perfect. He was the 8th Doctor! So I get a little more geekiness added as a bonus, hehe. The camera work is absolutely stunning, second only to David Attenborough’s work. The animal content was all amazing, but the human stuff was sometimes a little boring, and downright infuriating in some parts. Watching a human knock a baby baboon off a cliff with a rock while it’s family looks on with obvious grief is NOT my idea of a good time. And it’s scenes like this one that made me give all the series except one a score of 8/10. Islands gets a 10/10. It was the first one I watched, and still the best. If you’re a fan of nature documentaries, I highly recommend this series of shows. Absolutely wonderful!

The whole series is currently streaming on Netflix US. Enjoy!

M.

ps, The pictures are in order of release date, though they really don’t need to be watched in order.

Mel’s 5 Second First Impressions: Face Off, Season 8

Face Off (2011-present)
(Season 8 cast) McKenzie Westmore, Ve Neill, Glenn Hetrick, Neville Page, Laura Tyler, Rayce Bird, Anthony Kosar, and Michael Westmore

Contestants: Darla Edin, Emily Serpico, Gregory Hewett, Julian Bonfiglio, Stephanie Masco, Adam Milicevic, Anthony Reyes, Logan Long, Regina Jiganti, Rob Miller, Alan Carnes, Ben Peter, Daniel Prado, Jamie Leodones, and Kelly Harris

So, as I’ve mentioned before, I like the idea of a good few of the reality shows out there. There are quite a few of them with themes that I’m interested in; makeup, fashion, tattoos, music, dancing, etc. But so many of them are all drama, no substance. Both Ink Master and America’s Next Top Model only got one season for how awful they were. My favourites, besides this one, are Dancing with the Stars and RuPaul’s Drag Race. Funny how a show about drag queens is one of the least dramatic ones out there… but I digress, as usual.

Face Off is my very favourite reality show. With the exception of the awful season 1 (which I’m glad I didn’t see first, for I wouldn’t have continued), there is no drama, save tiny personal conflicts very, very seldomly. The focus really is on the makeups and costumes, and that’s why I love it. Two episodes into season 8, I find the format much changed, and while there’s still no drama, I’m not entirely sold on the concept of returning champions. This season, three former winners form 3 groups of 5, and compete as teams. It’s not bad, but I figure the show was perfect as is, why fix something if it ain’t broke? But I guess I’ll see how it goes as the show continues, but unless they change it up a little, I certainly hope they’ll go back to their old format for season 9.

This show isn’t on Netflix, but YouTube has a lot of episodes, if you’re interested in checking it out. I definitely reccomend it if you’re interested in special makeup effects.

 

M.