Mel’s 5 Second Review: Starry Eyes

Starry Eyes
(2014) Alexandra Essoe, Amanda Fuller, Noah Segan, Fabianne Therese, Maria Olsen, Louis Dezseran, Marc Senter, Shane Coffey, Natalie Castillo, Pat Healy

This film’s been on my to-watch list since it came out, and after seeing some good reviews, I decided to go ahead and watch it last night. The concept is pretty generic, done to death really, but has just enough of a twist that it stays interesting. It gives an unflinching glimpse into the lives of struggling actors, so much so that it’s painful to watch at times. The film is shot beautifully, and the acting ranges from atrocious to good. All of that said, it was boring. Boring, boring, boring. The only reason I made it through the whole film was because I was watching with my sister, and she wanted to finish it, despite being bored herself. The film was just over 90 minutes, yet felt longer than Lord of the Rings. It wasn’t scary, at all, just occasionally gross, and to me there’s nothing interesting in that. And seriously, what the hell is up with her friends?? That one who keeps putting her down, the supposed best friend who tells everything told to her in confidence. With friends like those it’s no wonder she went nuts. And by the time the slicing and dicing starts happening, I was just happy to get these simpering morons off the screen. The end was good, I’ll give it that (even if I’d already figured it out), but still not enough to save this turd. 3/10

This film is currently streaming on Netflix. Watch at your own peril.

M.