30 Day Horror Challenge (in 6 Days): Days 26 to 30

All right, this is it, the last day! Sorry for the delay, my few but loyal readers, I’ve had quite the busy past few days, and have been paying for it today (so worth it though), so I haven’t had time (or energy) to take out the ol’ laptop. But, as I’m feeling better now, we can finish up this list. So let’s get to it!!

 

Day 26 – Best Horror Movie for a Chicken: Hocus Pocus

Ok, so technically, this isn’t really horror. But for a film that was clearly aimed at teens, it does have a surprising amount of horror-esque scenes, not to mention some of the subject matter. So for someone who is a real chicken, something like this would be perfect for them, not too scary, while still entertaining. Three witch sisters want to stay young and, err, “beautiful” forever. To do this they capture children, and suck the life-force right out of them (which we witness. See? Pretty dark already, for a kid’s movie). Standing in their way are three teens and a talking cat, who’s not really a cat, but a boy whom the witches cursed after killing his sister. One of my favorite Halloween films when I was a kid, and I still enjoy it today. If you find yourself almost peeing your pants in fright every time a horror movie is on, Hocus Pocus is the film for you. Wimp.

 

Day 27 – Horror Guilty Pleasure: The Covenant

I don’t really have a guilty pleasure, because that would suggest that I feel guilty about liking anything. Which I don’t. I like what I like, and I really don’t care what other people say about it. But, that said, I do know what it means. I chose The Covenant as my “guilty pleasure” because, in general, horror fans like to crap on this movie. It’s not really a very good movie. The acting is mostly sloppy, the story is a little dumb, the effects and dialogue are both cheezy, and yet I have a great time whenever I decide to watch it. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, and yes, the actors are all pretty boys with rippling abs. The movie is basically just an excuse to ogle some man-beauty, and, really, there’s nothing wrong with that.

 

Day 28 – Horror Film I’d Like to See Remade: Night Watch

Night Watch, by Sergei Lukyanenko, is the first in a trilogy of Russian horror novels (Day Watch and Twilight Watch are the others). It was such an amazing book, with cool and interesting ideas, that I was intensely excited when I heard they were making a movie of it. It was to be a Russian production, but I didn’t care since I’ve evolved a very special feature called “reading subtitles”. You’d be surprised to know how few humans possess such a gift. But I digress. Finally, after months of waiting, it was available for purchase here, and I scooped that shit right up and prepared to have the time of my life. About halfway through the film, I couldn’t do it any more, and turned it off. Night Watch has to be one of the worst films I’ve ever had the displeasure of seeing, and I’ve seen a lot. The story was basically the same, but the acting… oh my god, the acting. It was horrible. It made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. I was so disappointed, because the book is incredible. So if I were to choose any film to be remade, this would be it. I’m not loosing hope that they’ll do it eventually, and do it right this time *fingers crossed*

 

Day 29 – Worst Horror Film Ever: The ABC’s of Death

This film is so awful, I don’t even want to talk about it. But since it’s the top film in this category, I have to. So I will. Briefly. The ABC’s of Death has a cool concept: 26 directors each get a letter of the alphabet and make their own short film about a word starting with that letter. It sounded interesting, and I was looking forward to watching it. But it wasn’t interesting, it was just bad. The kind of bad that makes your eyes hurt and your nose bleed. I sat through the whole thing (although I’ll admit that I skipped forward a few times), and no matter how many times I said to myself “well, this couldn’t possibly get any worse”, wouldn’t you know it, it got worse. Not a single of the segments is worth watching, and I feel violated and slightly nauseous for having to sit through that. And yet, apparently, it was popular enough to warrant a sequel. What the hell is wrong with you people??? Ugh…

 

Day 30 – All Time Favorite Horror Film: The Lost Boys

So this is it, the film that could have gone into a few different categories, but I was saving the best for last. The Lost Boys has been my favourite film since I first saw it at the ripe old age of 7. My mother bought it on VHS and hid it, because it was “too scary”. I must have watched it at least a dozen times before she caught me. This film is everything a good vampire story needs to be. It’s got tense moments, funny moments, likeable characters (heroes and villains), not to mention a bitchin soundtrack. I was so in love with this movie that I could, starting from the beginning, recite the whole film. And it didn’t even have to be on. Once a friend of mine and I played out the whole film, start to finish, every single line, just for fun. I also had a major crush on Sam (played perfectly by a pre-drug-crazed Corey Haim). The film may have it’s faults, but I don’t see them. To me, it’s absolutely perfect.

 

And there you have it. The 30 Day Horror Challenge, accepted and completed! Thanks for reading, and stick around for even more entertaining shenanigans soon! 🙂

M.